The Women Yell All

In many ways, The Women Tell All – aka “The Women Audition for Bachelor in Paradise – speaks for itself and by “speaking”, I mean a roomful of people screaming over each other. Or am I still thinking about the last Democratic debate?[1] 🙂

What? There were people wearing Mykenna tee-shirts? Part of me wants one but then I’d have to explain to people who she is and why I’m wearing a shirt with her face on it.

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The Women Tell All always causes some cognitive dissonance for me.

Me IRL – I hate drama.

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Me watching The Women Tell All.

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ClareOne typical reason to put up with all the drama is the announcement of the next Bachelorette. That, however, was deemed important enough to be announced on Good Morning America that it would be Clare Howley. Clare is a familiar face having been on Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor, and a season of Bachelor in Paradise, and The Bachelor: Winter Games. And it’s a big deal because at 38 years-old, she is a departure from the young 20-somethings that have dominated the franchise in recent seasons. I think it’s a good move and Clare has the potential to make for good TV.

As to this particular tell all, we began with a rose ceremony where, speaking of conflicting utterances, we had these:

  • Victoria F.: “Peter’s love is very pure. [He’s dating seriously three women.]
  • Hannah Ann: “He redefined what love means to me. But I know he’s building relationships with two other women.” [The irony of this speaks for itself.]
  • And then there’s Peter’s assessment of his relationship with Madison: “I understand her frustration and pain. I hate that I’m doing that to her.”

Uh, did Peter hate that when he was . . . well . . . you know . . . uh, busy with Victoria F. and Hannah Ann?

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And what the %$#%*???? Madi accepted a rose?? She couldn’t even look him in the eye!!!!!

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What is her deal???? Somewhere along the line she eventually said, “Here’s to seeing if love can conquer all.” Madi, I know you’re competitive but some conquests aren’t worth winning. In basketball parlance, it’s fine to accept a DNP-Coach’s Decision (DNP = did not play). In this case, I’m the coach. I know your father will agree. Sit this one out!

As to the actual tell all, who were some of these women? There had to be ten of them there that I’m sure nobody remembers.

IMG_1695And hold up. Did anybody else think that Miss Controversy Victoria F. not only acted human but was actually adorable?

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Maybe that’s the crux of who she is. Her dark side is real (and makes for good TV) while her light side is so attractive that you get sucked into thinking the dark side is worth dealing with. Krazy Kelsey came off looking good, too. I suspect she’ll probably end up in Paradise.

Can anybody help me understand how Peter had no interest in Lexi? I’m gonna need her in Paradise, too. And Alexa of the fabulous natural hair. Just sayin’.

I’ll be honest. I didn’t know what to do with the segment on online bullying. Yes, it’s a massive issue. And I’m a big Rachel Lindsay fan[2]. I suppose if you’re going to do something on the subject, she’s a good choice to represent the problem. But for me it felt awkward, came out of nowhere and after watching a bunch of women literally screaming nasties at each other (ex. “I didn’t call you a stupid ass [B-word]. I called you a dramatic ass [B-word]), it was a really confusingly mixed message.

And so we have one more week of two episodes left to sort out this hot mess of a season. I’m of two minds. On one hand, I’m waiting for this to all be over. On the other, I’m genuinely curious how this all works out. The drama with Madison is high, the drama with Hannah Ann is sure to be high, and the drama with Peter’s mom is . . .

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As ever, I await.

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[1] A purely objective observation with no political intent intended.

[2] Especially when she fills in on various ESPN shows.

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