First night of The Bachelorette. Lots and lots of guys. LOTS of TALLLLLLLLLL guys. One gorgeous Charity. What was I looking for and what stood out?
Thanks to My Girl over at @Bachelordata IG, I was looking for the first four out of the limo. They tend to go far, especially when their limo exit had a lot of screen time. The first four were:
- Aaron B, who got good screen time
- Josh
- Joey, the affable tennis pro who got good screen time
- Warwick
The other thing I was looking for – and this one ended up bringing a LOT of drama and WTF surprise – was who got the First Impression Rose (FIP). This is HUGELY important. 11 of the past 16 Bachelorette suitors made the Final Four and HALF ended up winning.
For the FIP, the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) demonstrated their genius by taking us on a journey (take a sip) that had a shocking destination. The journey began with Travel Nurse Brayden who was given an intro package, foreshadowing his significance. And throughout the evening, the EGPs distracted us with several guys who seemed to have made good connections (take a sip) with Charity the Gorgeous.
Then there was the undercover brother – literally Charity the Beautiful’s brother, Nehemiah as opposed to the classic movie character. Nehemiah ridiculously disguised as a bartender[1] so he could check out how the guys were checking out his dazzling sister was both stupid and cute. It hit the spot for some light opening-night humor.
Much of what Nehemiah heard was pleasant banter about Sis, except for Brayden. Brayden’s giddiness about his extended make-out time with Charity the Lovely came off as smelling himself to the other guys and set off warning alarms to Brother Nehemiah, especially when Brayden was talking like he had the FIP all wrapped up.
When Charity the Elegant got the low-down from Nehemiah, she appeared shocked and outraged by Brayden’s attitude and comments, saying, “We’ll see”, in regards to his getting the FIP and, “I’ll carry the luggage out”, regarding any of the guys should they get out of line.
It appeared Brayden was in for a little comeuppance when Charity the Exquisite pulled him away from the group to have him ‘splain hisself. I figured he’d get a deserved scolding but with respect for their obvious connection, she’d keep him around but on a short leash.
So, imagine our collective shock and outrage when Charity the Confusing GAVE BRAYDEN THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE.
The guys were more than slightly chagrined. 🙂
This whole thing is BRILLIANT. Again, the historical importance of the FIP is clear. These are given at the discretion of the Bachelorette. But it also sets Brayden up to be an early antagonist in the group and we saw a sneak peek of future drama between him and Aaron, who we know also matters to the season because of his early limo exit and generous screen time. We also know that early frontrunners often flame out early, too, so the EGPs have set us up to give Brayden a lot of attention.
Charity the Enchanting’s choice aside, I wonder how much of the drama was contrived (to include clever editing[2]) by the EGPs for the purpose of shocking and outraging us. Right from the jump, they’ve set up the season with an extended cliffhanger. Nicely done, EGPs!
A couple of other things worth mentioning:
- Great line: “It is a full display of mating season here on Animal Planet.” (Aaron S. aka White Aaron on the frenzy to impress Charity the Wonderous)
- Who knew that jumping on top of things was a profession? And how many more times will we be subjected to him jumping on things? (Chris, Age: 27, World Record Jumper)
That’s a wrap. See you next week.
P.S. Quite appropriately, this week’s viewing wine was the Red Blend (Cabernet-Merlot) by Black Girl Magic.
P.P.S. This header for The Bachelorette’s Twitter feed might need to be changed. C’mon, people. Seriously?
[1] And various guys pretending that he looked familiar but couldn’t quite place him.
[2] “Frankenediting” is the process of taking audio from one scene and placing it another scene.
Ray's Musings 