A Satisfying (and rational) Ending

Like Chris Harrison, I have lots of questions but unlike Chris Harrison I'm not going to breathlessly shout them at you. What if two people who’ve known each other for a few days didn’t have to get engaged according to a primetime TV calendar? What if two people with a mutual attraction simply decided to... Continue Reading →

Shot Through the Heart

IT’S LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE!!! OK, Chris, you overcame my skepticism. I will finally agree with one of your (typically empty) breathless proclamations and not in a snarky way. Tonight was surprising and even quite captivating. We began with The Search for Colton in the Portuguese countryside with a missed opportunity to have... Continue Reading →

Everybody’s In Their Feelings

[Scroll down if you want to see who I think the next Bachelorette is.] The Women Tell All (and its far less interesting associate Men Tell All) follows a familiar pattern: Scenes from Bachelor franchise history (gotta keep building that brand!). Insane free for all where the contestants get to rekindle their bad feelings about... Continue Reading →

He [bleep] Jumped The Fence

Take cover, boys and girls! We’re gonna cue up The Gap Band You Dropped A Bomb On Me and put it on auto-repeat. I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come back in for normal viewing, probably shortly after verification that Chris Harrison has retrieved a shell-shocked Colton roaming around the Portuguese countryside. Let’s... Continue Reading →

Take Me Home Tonight

“Caelynn, I’m sorry. Take a moment. Say your goodbyes.” Day-um. I didn’t see that coming which was obvious as just a few minutes earlier My Daughter Cassandra and I were screaming, “HE PICKED TAYSHIA????” So, she turned out to be the dark horse? Day-um. Caelynn was obviously surprised, too, as all she could think of... Continue Reading →

Trashing Her for the Love of You

One of my favorite things about The Bachelor franchise are the misdirections. You see previews with your own eyes and hear the conversations with your own ears and are shocked by what they mean[1]. Ah, but without full context, the evil genius producers know we are like naive sheep so easily led astray. In this... Continue Reading →

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