My Queen Makes a Decision

As always, Paradise Tuesday night provided plenty of things to poke fun at. With the arrival of foxy Jen, Blake has met enough girls at Stagecoach to form the world’s hottest basketball team. And Kristen transformed into the Spawn of Satan. But the night clearly belonged to My Queen Demi and Bachelor Nation’s collective night... Continue Reading →

Your Paradise Week 1 Playlist

Bachelor in Paradise ain’t nuthin’ but a party and every good party – especially the ridiculicious ones like Paradise - needs a great DJ. Thank you, Chris Harrison. I’ll take it from here. Here’s my playlist for the first two nights. You’re the One That I Want (John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John). For reasons unclear... Continue Reading →

Scorched Earth in Paradise

Yes, I know it’s a rather odd to add an addendum to something that hasn’t been written yet. But shortly after last night’s episode – the second of the two-part premiere – Blake set the internetosphere on fire with his side of the Caelynn story. He's got text message receipts and they indicate that Caelynn... Continue Reading →

Why This Bachelorette Season Was Great

A fabulous summary of why this Bachelorette season was so spectacular came from Sharleen Joynt who was one of my favorite Bachelor franchise "characters"[1]. Sharleen was on (that loser) Juan Pablo’s season and was awesome because she was a professional opera singer, incredibly intelligent, OMG drop dead gorgeous and excused herself from the show when she... Continue Reading →

Hannah B. Chooses to . . . Date (?)

Lies! Deceit! A cringeworthy proposal! Thank you, Bachelor franchise. Everything I’ve ever wanted, you were promising to deliver. Not only did you do that, you also gave me a logically satisfying ending – two people agreeing to go on a date. Yes, just a date. No Neil Lane ring. No engagement-and-we-break-up-later. Just a date. Like,... Continue Reading →

Surprise, Surprise!

I never saw it coming. I bet neither did you. You, me and all of Bachelor Nation had the same reaction when we saw that Hannah B. was going to be the Bachelorette. And we were all wrong. This season might be my favorite[1] and perhaps it’s high on your list, too. Here’s why. As... Continue Reading →

Wrong Winner. Again.

Yes. After three hours or 180 minutes or 10, 800 seconds or 1.08e+13 nanoseconds – however you want to count it - we find out that for the fiftyleventh time, the wrong person won American Idol. Wrong, but utterly predictable from the moment that the judges made Laine audition so many weeks ago when he... Continue Reading →

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