[cue Kacey Musgraves Late to the Party]
Sorry that I am late in getting to this final blog of Charity’s season. Ironically, that theme of lateness started when I began the episode. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the local ABC channel that services the Washington D.C. area pre-empted Charity’s final step in her journey to find love to air a pre-season football game between the Washington Commanders and Baltimore Ravens.
It took about 30 minutes of scrambling around on various apps and websites before the Google Machine led me to an alternate network for us DMV[1] folks to get our Bachelorette fix. Somehow my DVR knew what was up as I later found out that it was recording the show without my having set it to the alternate channel.
Anyway, this final episode was both predictable and satisfying. There were Jesse’s persistent pronouncements of devastating heartbreak and the Evil Genius Producers doing their evil darndest to misdirect us from the obviousness of Dotun getting the win, to which My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) brilliantly texted these:
The live viewing audience was peppered with Bachelor Nation royalty, and we were all wondering how Peter the Pilot’s mom was granted permanent VIP status.
Aaron‘s return was brief as Charity dispatched him from the proceedings. His payment for losing the future mother of his children will be finding solace in the bosoms of thirsty, bikini-clad hotties on the beaches of Paradise. Owner of a Lonely Heart will not be on his playlist.
That left Charity to bring her two remaining suitors home and the EGPs made sure we saw things going well for Joey and not so well with Dotun. That included live shots of Charity’s mom frowning during Joey’s segments. There was quite a bit of editing to throw us off the inevitability of Dotun winning and Joey’s consolation prize of being named the next Bachelor.
Naturally, there was the predictable drama around the difficulty of Charity making her final choice [cue Mary McGregor Torn Between Two Lovers[2]] and her mom adamantly refusing to tell her she should pick Joey. As always, Pastor/Camp Counselor Jesse was there to remind her how much Love and Happiness [cue Al Green] she’ll experience after she makes her heartbreaking decision to eliminate one of her beloved men.
As always, ring provider Neil Lane got his requisite amount of over-exposure. Again, MDC’s text game was on point.
Eventually, Charity gets the kneel-down from Dotun and then the BIG NEWS!!! SHE’S GOING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS! She’ll go in as a betting favorite following in the line of previous winners Kaitlyn Bristowe, Hannah Brown, and Melissa Rycroft (who was on DWTS twice). Gabby Winfrey was last season’s runner-up, and former Bachelorettes tend to go far on the show.
As a wrap to the season, here are five reasons why it was such a satisfying one for me.
Charity. She is a captivating combination of beauty, grace, and self-awareness.
Two genuinely good guys at the end. And a very satisfying end with the “loser” being the consensus choice as a well-deserving next Bachelor. The recent history of Bachelors has been less than compelling: Zach, Clay-uhn, Matt James, Peter the Pilot, Colton, Arie. Isn’t it time to replace Sean Lowe as the perfect picture of Bachelorness?
A classic villain. Brayden was great. I’m looking forward to hijinks involving him at Paradise.
Good predictive indicators. The First Four out of the limo on Week 1 gave us Joey and Aaron. Brayden got the First Impression Rose. From the jump, we saw who the EGPs wanted us to pay attention to.[3]
A short season. My Girl @bachelordata IG has a fascinating data-filled video breakdown about season length. The tl;dr version is budget cuts on the part of Disney. The short season may have made Charity’s decision more difficult not to mention the potential impact of getting engaged so quickly. But at no point did I feel the season was dragging or that the EGPs were trying too hard to maintain interest.
And that’s a wrap. I’ll be taking a break from blogging for the Old Guy Bachelor or whatever it’s called. I expect to be back for the madness that is Paradise.
P.S. A week has gone by but I think what I drinking was the savory Rubus Reserve Pinot Noir from Russian River Valley, CA. It was a go-to this season.
[1] DC-Maryland-Virginia
[2] Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool/Loving both of you is breaking all the rules
[3] Thank you, @Bachelordata Instagram.
Ray's Musings 
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