Bachelor in Paradise – It’s a Vibe!

[Cue The Beach Boys Good Vibrations]

I’m picking up good vibrations, she’s giving me the excitations (oom bop bop) . . .

Welcome back to the beaches of Paradise where catching vibes and lusting for abs reign supreme. And sucking toes. Sucking toes are important.

Perhaps attempting to reset the negative vibes from the psychological torture of last season – recall that the girls were separated from the guys mid-season while new hotties arrived – the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) signaled this season would be different by replacing the usual Paradise song intro with an homage to Flashdance. Talk about changing vibes! The EGPs borrowed from the opening graphics of the movie and had some of the cast members mimic moves from the music video, including the famous water scene. They’ll likely go back to their usual open next week but kudos for the bold and humorous move in Week 1. Rewind or recover your recording!



Ex-Bachelorette Rachel was First Girl on the Beach and Aaron the Brokenhearted by Charity was First Guy on the Beach. This often signals that they will be playing major roles in the season although not immediately. That will be something to look out for.

But the major player in Week 1 was “Hot Commodity” Kylee. She came with eyes only for Aven [cue The Flamingos I Only Have Eyes for You], stating that if he proposed, she would say yes. That’s an interesting attitude to take toward someone SHE HASN’T MET YET!!!!! But who knows how many romances begin with replying to an IG post with an emoji?

On the other hand, all the guys have their eyes on Kylee [cue St. Lucia All Eyes on You], a state of affairs that rarely works out well for the one being eyed as it generally leads to many messy entanglements, said entanglements being a lot of fun for us viewers. And great fodder for manipulation by the EGPs.

The EGPs contemplating relational carnage.

Aaron the Brokenhearted by Charity is the first to have a convo with Kylee. Afterward, he told his boy, Sean (doesn’t look like Barbie’s Ken/says he’s a Swiftie to impress girls), “We connected pretty well.” Next to pull up on her was Wil and they mutually clicked. Third in the Kylee queue is Brayden who arrives on the beach much to the consternation of his sworn mortal enemy Aaron the Brokenhearted by Charity and his boy Sean. Brayden feels the gravitational pull to Kylee and is pretty sure that he and Kylee made a good connection.

Things were only beginning to get interesting because Paradise.

Olivia arrives and Wil is definitely feeling it and declares, “Shooters are going to shoot and you best believe I’ma shoot my shot.”.


They go off together and she instigates a flirty conversation about sucking toes, soon followed by The First Kiss in Paradise. This kiss would reverberate throughout the rest of the episode [cue Calvin Harris and Dupa Lipa, One Kiss].

After the full complement of Week 1 arrivals – eleven girls and seven guys – ex-quarterback Jesse Palmer gives the group a fiery inspirational speech about the possibilities in Paradise: Couples get engaged! Couples get married! They have children! This process can work! SO FIND LOVE OR GO HOME!

Then things got very Paradisal. Wil kissed and got told on and Kylee was like what’s up with that? We talked, we vibed, we connected and he didn’t wanna mack on me? It got even spicier when My Girl Greer found the first Date Card and it’s got Kylee’s name on it. Thank you, EGPs. This creates all kinds of cognitive dissonance for Kylee. She wants to go on the date with Wil but what is up with him macking on Olivia?

She takes some time to decide to go on the date with Wil. Brayden was disappointed that he didn’t get picked – self-awareness is not exactly his strong suit. After a pep talk with bartender Wells, Brayden realizes “people are here to explore every option” and finds solace in Kat’s welcoming arms as Option B [cue Spanky and Our Gang I’d Like to Get to Know You]. However, Kaylee and Wil going on a date has thrown Olivia into a downward spiral.

Kaylee and Wil have a great date while back at the beach, Paradisers compared and contrasted views of what Olivia was owed by either Kaylee, Wil, or both. That’s the wonderful thing about Paradise – entanglements are not constrained to the parties involved. Everybody manages to get hit with ripple effects.

As for Olivia, only one thing can satisfy her animus towards Wil – the arrival to the beach of the true desire of Kaylee’s heart – Aven. If only Aven could be cast into this season and walk down those steps to the beach. Girlfriend, the EGPs are so out in front of you. Even as you are reading their cue cards imagining your hopes of retribution, Aven is standing at the top of the steps awaiting his cue to reconnect with Jesse, head down to the beach, and wreak the havoc you so desperately want. Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at this moment.

Aven: (limo arrives) Hey EGPs. Good to see you again. I’m all ready to . . .

EGPs: Hold up. We’re not quite ready for you yet.

[Time passes while cameras capture Olivia’s spewing of vengeful thoughts.]

Aven: (impatiently) Getting close?

EGPs: We just need to get a little more B-roll stuff. You know how it is.

[Time passes while cameras capture Olivia enjoying her dreams of Wil’s future humiliation.]

Aven: Yo, how much longer is it going to be?

EGPs (as Olivia’s hatred of Wil has reached the white-hot heat of a thousand burning suns): Hey, we’re good. Go ahead and head down. You’re arriving at a great time. Everybody’s vibing. [EGPs trying to hold back laughter.] Oh, and here’s a date card. Good luck!


And that is the cliff we are left hanging on.

See you next week.


P.S. It’s a Paradise thing that everybody on the beach has someone they’re hoping to see on the beach. That influences a lot of casting decisions. Well, I was very happy to see My Girl Greer and Brooklyn on the beach but neither was shown to be vibing with anybody. I’m hoping that changes next week. I need them both to get more screen time.

P.P.S. This week’s viewing wine was Unanime Malbec, one of my faves.

Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑