Dreams and Nightmares

As we near the end of Paradise, we can expect the relational bliss that all of the couples are currently experiencing to be destroyed by the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs). There will, no doubt, be an exception or two that will leave the Playa Escondida Resort unscathed, which will likely come as a surprise to us viewers. The manner of which the EGPs will blow everything up is likely to be highly devious, and the EGPs did bring the mischief with an explosive element in the form of a former Bachelorette.

We began this week still hanging on last week’s cliff of whether newly arrived Michael was going to ask newly uncoupled Olivia on a date. That turned out to be less hanging on a cliff and more like waiting on the stoop, as it was obvious that the date would happen despite the EGPs’ fake suspense. However, the fact that Olivia was so enamored with her dreams of him that she never got his name was peak, always funny Olivia. [cue The Who Who Are You]

Meanwhile, Kat has dreams, too, and they are about the family she is going to raise with John Henry. [cue Eurythmics Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)]

With Olivia out on a date with Michael, all the girls are encoupled. So, of course, the EGPs send in TWO new GUYS!


It’s Jordan, Rachel’s first date in her Bachelorette season, and Taylor, a first-night exit from Charity’s season. Jordan immediately pulls Rachel, who is dreaming about second chances. [cue John Mayer Dreaming With a Broken Heart] They go on a hot tantric yoga date and kiss a lot in the water, but afterward, her mind is still with Tanner.

Her heart, on the other hand, is reluctant. Tanner calls her out for having her walls up. And bartender Wells the Wise calls her out, too, insightfully saying that everybody in Paradise is here because they’ve been hurt in the journey to find love and that if you’re feeling it for somebody, you gotta go for what you know [or something like that]. This is enough for her to tell Tanner she’s ready to give it a go.

Aaron B. sets up a mini-date for Eliza. He’s already dropped the “falling” word, and now he’s ready to take it to the next level by asking her if she wants to be his girlfriend. This request gets Eliza giddily dreaming about a post-Paradise engagement. [cue Mariah Carey Dreamlover]

Then the EGPs give us some b-roll of the waves, which every student of archetypes knows that water is often used to indicate a “washing away” of what was or a warning of a change of vibe. In this case, we’re about to lose the good vibes built up from Oliva/Michael and Kat/John Henry through to Rachel/Tanner and Eliza/Aaron B. [cue Guns ‘n’ Roses Welcome to the Jungle]

The EGPs are about to stir up some warm-up mischief by going into the Truth Box and pulling out some bad news for Mercedes: “Tyler, everybody knows you’re not that into Mercedes. You better come clean. She deserves the truth.”

That funny face you make when someone says something about you that isn’t funny.

Tyler and Mercedes talk, and it’s clear they’re not on the same page. She wants to feel pursued while he’s giving off at least we had a nice summer fling vibes.

Brayden finds a date card that must go to the newly arrived Taylor (see above), right? Except that, it’s for a double-date for Aussie Sam/Pilot Pete 2.0 and Kylee/Aven, which has Taylor like, “WTF did I come here for?”

Those crazy kids Aussie Sam and Pilot Pete 2.0 commit to giving it a shot outside Paradise. And Kylee and Aven use their time to exchange “falling” words. They have been the longest and strongest couple in Paradise. This can only mean one thing – it’s not going to end well for them because Paradise.

Now it’s time for the EGPs to really eff things up. While Jess is telling us that she’s found her person in Blake, Blake’s ex-fiancee, Bachelorette Katie arrives in Paradise. Jesse doesn’t hand her a date card, which only heightens the suspense of why is she here? Clearly, the reason is to let the EGPs eff with Blake and poor Jess. And, indeed, they both feel eff’ed with upon seeing Katie. It’s only going to get worse. A lot of couples are about to feel eff’ed with.


But first, she has to eff with Blake one-to-one as she pulls him for their FIRST INTERACTION SINCE THEY BROKE UP! I liked Katie, but maybe the Devil has another bride besides Kat?


And while they’re talking, poor Jess’s dreams are turning into nightmares. [cue Alice Cooper Welcome to My Nightmare]

Meanwhile, the rest of the beach is speculating why Katie is here. After all, she’s single now. Is she looking for love in Paradise places? And Kylee makes a comment, “I know how I felt watching Aven and Rachel have that first interaction.” Wayment. WE’VE WATCHED EXES-NEARLY-ENGAGED RACHEL AND AVEN OPENLY GHOST EACH OTHER THIS ENTIRE SEASON AND WE WEREN’T SHOWN THAT MOMENT? SHAME, SHAME EGPs.


Finally, there’s Katie’s big – and very awkward – announcement after she and Blake have their chat. The real reason Katie is in Paradise is to turn the Rose Palapa into the “Roast Palapa,” as she co-hosts the first ever Bachelor in Paradise Comedy Roast. Yep, a beach full of people is getting permission to talk ish about each other.


It didn’t go well.


The beach got lit – the kind of lit that happens when you toss a match into gasoline. “Funny” things were said that hit too close to home. And the vibes were bad through the next day into the pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party.

Blake pulls Jess for a chat. These two have been experiencing disconnected vibes throughout their journey, and Katie’s unannounced visit to Paradise may have created a chasm too vast for them to cross. Jess has to compete with whatever feelings Blake still has for his ex-fiancée. And Blake is now comparing his feelings for Jess to those he still has for his ex-fiancée.

All of which has Blake leaving Jess hanging on a cliff, comparing her to Katie by declaring, “I feel like we’re [he and Jess] not getting there at all.” Oof.

That not-funny face you make when your BF tells you he’s still feeling it for his ex-fiancee.

Oh, boy. Previews are fire! Somebody says, “The beach is falling apart.” And a Jesse voice-over gives us the usual, “With the most shocking and dramatic Rose Ceremony of the season. Whose dreams of love will be crushed forever?”


See you the week after Thanksgiving for an hour after the dramatic Finale of The Bachelor for Old People The Golden Bachelor, and then the following week for the big three-hour Finale.


P.S. This week’s viewing wine was a Finca Museum Cigales Reserva Tempranillo. Excellent quality-to-price ratio from Costco for under $14.

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