There are four weeks to go, and the rush to get Joey down on one knee[1] (take a sip) is moving at a fast pace. He made a pre-Rose Ceremony cut (Jess). Lexi self-eliminated as while she felt Joey was Mr. Right, her let’s-have-babies-right-away timeline math wasn’t mathing for him [cue Dr. John Right Place Wrong Time]. And Joey left two women rose-less at the Rose ceremony.
The episode began with the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) proving that hearing a conversation without context can easily lead to misunderstanding, as Joey and Maria share words of love while all dressed up in a limo. Later, we’d see that she got the coveted “Pretty Woman” Date, which explained the limo and high fashion, and that she was playfully getting him to say lovey-dovey things in French that he didn’t understand.
We then got a solo scene of Joey in his feelings in Montreal. It’s the usual I don’t wanna put my heart on the line and get rejected trope that every Bachelor and Bachelorette goes through during their seasons because they’re in this position by having put their hearts on the line and getting rejected the previous season. We can be sure that the EGPs will come back to Joey’s angst to create drama at the appropriate time.
But the first real drama – because things are starting to get real (take a sip), feelings are starting to get real (take a sip) – is whose name IS NOT going to be called for the Group Date. That turns out to be the aforementioned Maria and Kelsey T. The Group Date (GD) can be summarized as follows:
- It was the kind of GD that advantages extraverts. The group spent a lot of time walking around the city and eventually did an every-girl-for-herself type activity – making different varieties of poutine. You could see the extraverts grabbing the most attention and the introverts having conversations with the camera about feeling left out.
- Everybody seems to be falling in love with Joey.
- Jenn – who I finally recognize apart from Lea – got the Group Date Rose.
Kelsey T. got the first 1-on-1, and she and Joey learned how to Cirque de Soliel from an incredibly fit Cirque de Soliel-er. I thought that was a good date. It was physical without being sexual, like many other Bachelor franchise physical dates.
The aforementioned Maria got to double-dip on her 1-on-1. Not only did she get the Pretty Woman Date, but she also got a chopper ride. Recall that Daisy got a chopper ride earlier this season. Women who get The Pretty Woman Date or a Chopper Date usually go far, and Maria got both. Oh, and there was a cherry on top! She and Joey got serenaded by the Canadian artist Feist[2]. First, Michael Bolton. Twice! And now Feist. Now we know where the budget went and why there have been so many cheap dates.
The EGPs really went all-out for Maria, the Canadian contestant. Yes, Joey really likes her – they exchanged “falling words.” But methinks the EGPs are trying too hard with her to set up some big future breakup drama. There was even nothing about her ongoing beef with Lea, who took over the Beef-with-Maria from the departed Sydney. It was as if their beef never happened so as not to sully Maria with bad juju.
Finally, there is the Rose Ceremony with eight girls. Three already have one: Jenn, Kelsey T., and Maria. And only three roses were available for the other five girls, which shocked them when they did the math and realized two is more than one.
Goodbye, Lea (whose delusional cockiness was quite annoying) and Katelyn, although the EGPs focused on Rachel’s angst during the Ceremony.
If you’re scoring at home, @Bachelordata IG nailed it this week with her Risk of Elimination model that had all three High Risk women get eliminated. Nicely done.
Five women remain: Daisy, Kelsey A., Kelsey T., Maria, and Rachel. Since Joey is falling for everybody and everybody is falling for him [cue Alicia Keys Fallin’], it’s hard to see who’s getting him down on one knee. Daisy and Maria are the clear fan favorites, but it’s not like American Idol where the viewers get to vote. I do feel like the EGPs will make the remaining arc of the season go through the two of them.
By the way, coming into this week, @Bachelordata IG’s Low Risk women were Daisy, Maria, and Kelsey A[3].
See you next week.
P.S. This week’s viewing wine was the Mascota Vineyards Unanime Malbec. Deep cherry-red color. Aromatic on the nose. Intense dark fruit flavors with a touch of orange peel. It’s a regular rotation favorite.
[1] And subsequent unengagement that always seems to follow.
[2] 2.8M Spotify monthly followers
[3] And Lexi, who self-eliminated.
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