Like all of Bachelor Nation, I was aghast and aggrieved over the unmitigated disaster that was the Bachelorette Finale. Rather than repeat and recap what we all witnessed, I’d like to muse about what got us there. And by “there,” I mean how did Jenn, with a history of relationships with toxic and emotionally unavailable guys, end up with Devin – an emotionally needy, gaslighting narcissist; Marcus – emotionally unavailable with unresolved childhood trauma issues; and a horrific live-television disaster?
Allow me to further briefly muse on each of the guys.
Devin’s journey was not to be in a relationship with Jenn but a travail to be chosen by Jenn. An independent study1 confirmed that 99.842% of the time Devin spoke about Jenn, he used the words “I” or “me.” Once he was chosen, he quickly lost interest in the relationship, and by “quickly,” I mean like in a few weeks. It’s a sad irony that Jenn played into his toxic need for validation by proposing to him.
Marcus’ journey was akin to his military missions. His orders were to fall in love with and propose to Jenn. But his “scary” distress over whether he would be a successful husband and father was debilitating and his fears about the future were blocking his feelings in the present. He’d always been successful before. Why couldn’t he get there this time? Jenn called it off when it became apparent that he could not complete the mission in the appointed time.
How we got here began before the beginning. Perhaps the Suits at ABC (sABCs) and the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) got complacent after a successful Bachelorette season with Charity and a successful Bachelor season with Joey (relationship and ratings), and that complacency showed in the poor quality of the cast for this Bachelorette season. You could divide the cast into two groups: Nameless, Faceless, and Forgotten; and Horrible Human Beings (we see you, Thomas N, Sam the Sham, and ultimately, Devin). Moreover, given Jenn’s relationship history, perhaps the guys could have been vetted better to weed out those who might have toxic and emotionally unavailable tendencies.
The shortened season played a role, too. There is already unreasonable pressure to get to an engagement in an unrealistic time under normal circumstances. And we know from history that most of the relationships break off those engagements. Shortening the season was bound to lead to even greater instability than usual. Maybe the sABCs and EGPs can learn something from this.
And then there was the dumpster fire of the live Finale. This was all cocky complacency on the part of the EGPs. Memo to EGPs: If you’re a producer, you gotta produce. Sure, you start with a script, but with all of the revenue-generating commercial breaks, there were many opportunities to right the wobbly ship without letting it continue to sink. When a very professional band’s equipment isn’t working, they figure out on the spot how to work around it. They don’t keep playing sh**ty sounding music.
Advance planning for things to go wrong would seem prudent, given that Jenn, the star of the show and season, was coming off of a very fresh and painful breakup. It would have been wise to anticipate that she would have difficult moments that would not serve her or their audience well. The prime example of this would have been NOT having Jenn and Devin on stage together. Jesse could have talked to them separately. Having them together was a catastrophe.
Jesse’s demeanor during the show was inappropriate. Given what we would see later, his teaser comments at the start were smarmy and insensitive. His attempts to play relationship counselor for Jenn and Devin were misguided and amateurish, and his motivational speeches to Jenn were wrong in tone and timing.
sABCs and EGPs, you f-ed up. Big-time. Hopefully, you’re taking seriously the torrent of abuse that’s come at you over the past week, especially when the stakes will be high with your surprise early announcement of Grant as the next Bachelor.
Be better.
That’s a wrap. An unhappy, dissatisfied wrap.
- Me, being snarky. ↩︎
Ray's Musings 
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