Tl;dr
Second episode. Short, tight dresses. Still too many girls. Lots of cleavage. Cattiness abounds.
Regular version
There are still too many girls to make sense of. Last week, I suggested that we pay close attention to Litia and Carolina as contestants who might play a significant role in Grant’s proceedings (and also Dina, Chloie, Bailey, and Juliana). Indeed, we saw plenty of them (except for Dina) aside from legs and cleavage.
The first date was a Group Date to play some hoops because Grant wants a wife and mother of his children who will be very supportive of his love for B-ball. That does raise the question of why he sent J’nae, an actual basketball player, home on Night 1, but why try to make sense out of Bachelor stuff?
Hoop Date Part I was a dunk contest. But Instead of having Zoe thrill us with her through-the-legs, around-the-back, 360-spin slammajamma, the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) had her steal Grant away to a rooftop to get a lot of one-on-one time. The other girls were less than thrilled.
Hoop Date Part II was a basketball game where more false fingernails fell to the floor than made baskets.
The consternation of Zoe shooting her shot for one-on-one time with Grant spilled over to the Group Date I after-party, where Zoe turned up the volume on the girls’ displeasure by interrupting Juliana and New Jersey Girl Alli Jo’s time with Grant. Zoe resolutely stood her ground and defended her right to get time with Grant anytime it suited her.
Natalie, the Ph.D. student, got the Group Date Rose (GDR).
Next up was Alexe, who won her one-on-one date by winning the First Impression Rose (FIP) on Night 1. As I mentioned in my prior blog, the FIP is usually the kiss of death, but she and Grant had a really good, high-chemistry date in a shopping mall reserved for the twosome. The EGPs have them find a piano where Grant can play and serenade Alexe. Apparently, the EGPs are showcasing him for his future music career, which doesn’t seem like it will ever pay him anything close to the trading career that got him that Ferrari. I played his single for My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) and she made me stop.
The second Group Date continued the musical theme. The girls worked on writing their own R&B songs and dance routines that would be performed before a live audience, Grant, and their coaches, R&B singer Mario1 and Robin Antin, choreographer and creator of the Pussycat Dolls. Hello, 2000s! Let’s cue up some Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, and The Black Eyed Peas! Grant gets another opportunity to display his musical, uh, skills. But it’s Carolina who stole the show with a hot makeout on Grant’s lap that literally embodied a Pussycat Doll classic:
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don’t cha? Don’t cha?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don’t cha? (Ah-ah-ah), don’t cha?
Pussycat Doll creator Robin loved it LOL. The girls? Not so much.
As with Zoe shooting her shot on Group Date 1, Carolina’s bold performance got the girls in their feelings at the Group Date II after-party, killing the vibe and making Grant worry that he was doing something wrong.
The theme of the after-party discussions was “emotional availability.” [cue Luther Vandross Ready For Love] Ella read a handwritten note to Grant; Bailey was so tearful, she couldn’t get through her conversation with him; and I’m thinking, THIS IS JUST NIGHT 2!!!!! THEY’VE KNOWN THIS GUY FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!! Or, as MDC said, “What is he telling these women that they’re all ready to marry him NOW?”
Four women got cut at the Rose Ceremony, including note-writing Ella, which brings us down to a still unmanageable number of 14. So much cleavage.
See you next week.
P.S. No viewing wine this week. I had to stay sharp to facilitate a training session for a team in India at 11:00 p.m., which was 9:00 a.m. for them the next day. There was no viewing wine last week, as I was on the road.
- Check out Let Me Love You https://open.spotify.com/track/3ibKnFDaa3GhpPGlOUj7ff?si=e3b34bdc296c4602 ↩︎
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