Yes. I get it. I know that most of Bachelor Nation and all of the people who faithfully “watch” with me are singing “Ding-dong, the Witch is dead” about My Girl Carolina. But I’m feeling more like Hall and Oates1:
She’s gone, she’s gone
I better learn how to face it
She’s gone, she’s gone
I’d pay the devil to replace her
She’s gone, she’s gone
Oh why, what went wrong?
A lot went wrong, if I’m being honest, despite that soft spot in my heart for Carolina the Clueless (CtC). On the one hand, the girls were objectively wrong at times about her actions, e.g., she didn’t grab Grant at the Group Date, and wrong about her motivations – she was there for the right reasons and entirely rational about the stakes of getting engaged to someone you barely know.
But the other hand was brutal. Her utter lack of sensitivity to the other girls’ feelings and blindness to how her words and behaviors were perceived – not at all capable of reading the room or her effect on the emotional temperature – left her defenseless.
She got into it right from the reading of the Group Date card in Edinburgh, with her usual complaints about wishing she could get more 1-on-1 time with Grant. That finally gets her only defender, Dina, reading her for filth in a debate over what kind of time is more valuable, Quality or Quantity.
On the Group Date, CtC continued to air her displeasure at having to compete for Grant’s time and connection. Girl, is this not the show you agreed to be on? She took a hit when the Tarot card reader threw down a Devil card. I’m guessing that’s not a good thing. After some uninspired participation in the group activities, she eventually totally checks out and sits alone, far apart from Grant and the other girls. To be fair, I would have left early on at the sound of the bagpipes, an “instrument” I find detestable.
Ever the empath and fixer of bad feelings, Grant leaves the other girls to tend to CtC’s poutiness. He succeeds in getting her out of her funk, but he’s gone a LONG time. And when the two lovebirds finally return to the group, it begins to rain, which shuts down the Group Date, with none of the girls getting Quality or Quantity time with Grant. Although the girls blamed her, Grant was complicit in the situation by validating her bad behavior and essentially turning a Group Date into a mini-1-on-1 date.
Things got really heated at the after-party. The girls have a conversation about CtC without ever mentioning CtC when it’s clear they’re talking about CtC and very clear to CtC that they are talking about her while excluding her from the conversation. I’m throwing the flag and calling an Unnecessary Pettiness penalty on all the girls.
The girls take turns getting time with Grant (Quality Time, I assume). When CtC gets hers, Grant, again, feeds into and validates her self-absorption, although, to be fair, the girls have come for her pretty hard. CtC returns, and when asked how her time went, she replies, “As well as it could have gone.” This sets the girls off because, at this point, CtC could have sneezed, and they would have read her for filth. They really go at her hard, and then Lawyer Dina comes for her, going all prosecuting attorney, although building her case on whether or not CtC has free will didn’t seem like a winning strategy.
But Lawyer Dina’s not done prosecuting her case, so she uses her Quality Time with Grant to rat CtC out without mentioning her by name. She assumes Grant is smart and intuitive enough to pick up what she’s putting down about an unnamed “damsel in distress . . . someone who takes (x5) and not give . . . [monopolizing] your time . . . not willing to take accountability for the things they do.”
For Grant’s part, he says he’s clocking Dina and is concerned because he trusts her. So now he’s worried that someone he thought could be The One isn’t legit.
As for the non-Carolina parts of the episode, there were dates to be had (Juliana and Litia) and not had (Zoe was the only girl in the last seven without a 1-on-1). Juliana got fireworks. Litia got serenaded by Emile Sande´and her song Ready to Love. Good signs for them.
Before the momentous Rose Ceremony that would determine Hometowns, CtC grabs Dina the Rat for a private convo where she apologizes for what went down in what began as a wonderful friendship. They hug it out and agree to let bygones be bygones. However, said bygones didn’t include Dina’s confession that she sold CtC out [cue Backstabbers The O’Jays]. And the show has been aired. I hear things have already been spicy on social media. I can’t wait until The Women Tell All.
Going to Hometowns are Litia, Juliana, Dina, and Zoe. The Grant/Juliana chemistry seems to be a real thing. She has to be one of The Final Two.
Going home are Carolina, Sarafiena, and Alexe. I believe Dina’s ratting on CtC made him pick Zoe — who he never gave a 1-on-1 to— over CtC, who I think he really had a thing for but was scared off by her constant drama.
In their previews for Hometowns, The Evil Genius Producers (EGPs] are promising to give us the usual family drama, which already looked to be juicy, with Litia sharing on her 1-on-1 with Grant that she and her fam are devout Mormons.
So, who are the Final Two that Grant cannot decide between? Zoe isn’t one, but Juliana has to be. I was sure the other was Litia, but will her and her family’s Mormon faith be a deal breaker? But I don’t buy Dina. Their “connection” feels one way to me. So, is it Litia? The EGPs have done a good job of creating ambiguity.
But here is my sad reality.
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel2
Carolina, when you were good, you sparkled. And when you were bad, your snarky haughtiness warmed my heart. I’m already imagining my excitement when you walk down those jungle steps onto the beach at Paradise. Cue Dusty Springfield wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ . . .
See you next week.
Ray's Musings 
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