If it feels like we’ve reached Hometown Visits faster than usual, it’s because we reached Hometown Visits faster than usual. Per @Bachelordata IG, “It’s the first time since 2010 that the franchise has shortened The Bachelor. Grant didn’t get the extra 2 weeks every other Bachelor has had in the last 14 years.” In the past 14 years, the Bachelor got seven weeks before meeting the fam. But here we are, faster than all the fancy whips Grant has at his disposal. Like, not the Ferrari this time.
Juliana gets the first visit, which is ominous despite her and Grant’s obvious physical chemistry and her proclamation that “she has found her forever guy.” Historically1, the first Hometown shown by the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) has rarely worked out engagement-wise. Size-wise, Juliana’s cast of thousands clan seems to have exceeded whatever the stereotypically large Italian family is. In contrast to the EGP fakeout in the previews, where they showed us a clip of Juliana’s dad shouting at Grant accompanied by menacing background music, “Did you just kiss my daughter?” the visit went as smoothly as a top-down drive on one of Grant’s hot rides. But if the EGPs production is any indication, Juliana is not in it to win it, no matter how hot the chemistry is.
Next up is Zoe. She is fighting a historical trend of no contestant being the winner if they did not receive a one-on-one date before Hometowns. It’s possible that the shortened season played a role in that. My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) believes that Grant was sure she was on his radar [cue My Girl Britney Radar], so he didn’t need to give her a 1-on-1. When pressed by Zoe’s Sis on the issue, he said while they got off to a slow start, their last two conversations were so good that he was good. The EGPs must have not included the part where Sis asks Grant how he’s considering an engagement after two good conversations.
Grant and Zoe’s pre-visit date was doing a photo shoot for Bridal magazine, and they got to cosplay the various parts of a wedding, including a kneel-down. Hmmm, EGP foreshadowing?
Litia is third in line. There seems to be a lot at stake, as Litia had already explained to Grant the importance of her Mormon faith to her and her family and that she had not brought a guy home that was not part of that faith. We also heard Grant’s concerns about fitting into her family as a guy with tats who indulges in adult beverages and generally likes to have a good time. C’mon. He’s a black ex-pro basketball player and wanna-be rapper. I don’t think it’s a stretch to think there aren’t many Mormons that fit this profile.
Ah, but that’s all another EGP fakeout—a double fakeout, actually [cue Foreigner Double Vision]. The first happened when hol’ up, where’d all dese white people come from? Litia’s a woman of color. That mystery was solved when Litia’s Popsie explained that her father (RIP) was from Fiji and how her bringing Grant home was like when her Mom brought someone home who didn’t look like the rest of the family.
The other fakeout was that all the concerns that Litia and Grant had were the EGPs making much ado about nothing. Litia’s family’s, and especially Mom and Dad’s, priorities were to love their daughter and get started making babies. And keep making them. Tats, booze, and fun were not mentioned.
That said, Litia expressed concern to her mom about trying to reconcile her feelings for Grant with the possibility that things might get spicy in the Fantasy Suites with the other girls in ways that she won’t allow to happen with her. I’m guessing that’s another EGP fakeout, as it seems obvious that Litia will be one of Grant’s Last Two.
The subject of religion was the story of Grant’s Hometown with Dina in Chicago. [This is the only Hometown city I’ve mentioned in this post, and it’s because I love this city. Cue Sweet Home Chicago.]
Dina’s family is also very “traditional and “religious”—her dad is an ordained pastor—and “the idea that his daughter is with a guy that’s dating 25 women doesn’t sit well with him . . . so they will not be here and so you’re not going to get to meet them.” Grant is clearly disappointed by this news, and after meeting the 32,853 people and 55,957 people in Juliana’s and Litia’s families, respectively, he’s probably also shocked.
But let’s be real. Dina was into him more than he was into her. I think he liked the similarities of their hard-driving, goal-oriented personalities, but it never got to the L-word level. For her, those similarities did rise to that level. If Dina hadn’t ratted out My Girl Carolina, she might not have made The Final Four. The entire date being centered around her family being MIA was merely a long distraction from the obvious fact that she was not getting a Fantasy Suite invite.
Those Suites waiting for Grant, Litia, Juliana, and Zoe will be in the Dominican Republic, and we were shown glimpses of more EGP fakeouts in the previews. But next week, there will be the ritual airing of all the spilled hot tea on the Women Yell All. The ladies will come for My Girl Carolina [cue Ava Max Sweet but Psycho]. I am ready.
See you next week.
- My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) thinks it funny that I would use the term “historically” in reference to The Bachelor. ↩︎
Ray's Musings 
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