The Women Yell All: The Carolina Show

“Unpleasant and uninteresting.”

Hat tip to Claire Fallon and Emma Gray of the Love to See It podcast for their perfectly succinct way to characterize this season’s Bachelor Yell All.

At best – and I used “best” advisedly – the Women Tell All episode is an exercise in perseverance. What needs to be said and covered in any season could easily be done in an hour. Stretching it to two hours means more filler than a particular contestant’s lips1

But this season was so short that there wasn’t enough content or dramas (plural, because there was plenty of drama, singular, but we’ll be getting to that) for the ladies to discuss. And we barely knew or remembered anything about most of the women who were invited. 

But let’s be real. While the season is ostensibly about Grant’s journey to find love (faster than he drives his Ferrari), the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) may as well have titled this season what it actually is: The Carolina Show. She dominated the show’s screen time. She dominated Bachelor Nation content. And with little to work with for the Women Yell All, the EGPs focused on the gift that keeps giving.


Again, I love Carolina. On the surface, I think she’s hot and I love a good villain in any story. Beyond that, I won’t go into the Jungian aspects of my psyche, like my Shadow and Anima archetypes, to explain the attraction. 

But I’m not blind to the qualities that others find appalling. I don’t disagree with you. It was not for nothing that I referred to her as Carolina the Clueless (CtC). But love her or hate her – and she had many supporters in the live audience – she’s someone that EVERYBODY has a lot of opinions about. The Suits at ABC (sABCs) love that.

Anyway, the EGPs set this up as another episode of the Carolina show, and she came ready for all the smoke.


From the start, this was a hot, buttered, cacophonic mess. At one point, everybody was yelling so much for so long that it devolved into indecipherable noise. The Women Yell All, indeed. The show resolved nothing, revealed nothing, and is easily the worst of its kind in the sordid history of these wretched shows.


All that remains is whether we will see My Girl Carolina in Paradise. If the intense focus on her throughout the season is any indication, the EGPs have already printed her ticket. Hopefully, Rose is there, too, and they get to do each other dirrrrrrrr-teeeee by stealing or being stolen by the other’s guy. 

I can’t wait.

See you next week for Fantasy Suites.


P.S. This week’s viewing was a Costco quality/price ratio fave, a Finca Museum Museum Reserva Cigales 2019 – a red wine with aromas of red berries, blackcurrants, and cranberries, a deep ruby red color with hints of purple, and a finish with notes of roasted hazelnut and minerals (h/t Google AI Overview). 


  1. I will not reveal the contestant or the person who texted me regarding said lips. ↩︎

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