Cue Tommy Edwards It’s All in the Game
Many a tear has to fall, but it’s all in the game
All in the wonderful game that we know as love
As we know, because Jesse says so, is that Paradise is and has always been about finding love. But I can tell you. Everything. Is. Going. To. Change. And. This. Is. When. It. Does. [finger point for emphasis starting with “This.”]
What’s changing about EVERYTHING is that there are no more new arrivals, and there will be exercises called “Relationship Tests” to “test your relationships”. Seems reasonable. I’d hate to think a relationship test tested speed in a 100-yard dash or visual acuity. Roses will be available based on Bachelor Pad style competitions, and a cash prize (“up to $500,000″1) is available, which got a strong reaction from the Paradisers.
cue Barrett Strong Money (That’s What I Want)
Your love give me such a thrill
But your love don’t pay my bills
I need money (that’s what I want)
The only thing staying the same is the continued pursuit of love. However, that pursuit of love could end for a variety of factors that have nothing to do with the strength of your love connection. We got our first glimpse of this on Monday, so let’s go there.
The game was “High/Low – What Do You Know.” Jesse explained how the game works. Decades from now, linguists and logic scholars will be studying Jesse’s explanation of this game, trying to make sense out of it.
It made sense once we saw them play.
First thing to understand is that it’s now the ladies’ turn to give out the Roses. But their guy needs to qualify for a Rose based on the test results. Here’s how the guys do that.
Each guy got chips to bet on how well they knew the answers to questions about his girl. At this point, there are ten couples. The guy who wins the most chips gets a fabulous date with his girl – if SHE decides to give him a Rose. If a guy finished 2nd through 7th, the girl can give her guy a Rose, and they stay in Paradise. If a guy finished 8th, 9th, or 10th, there are only two Roses available, meaning some bodies will be leaving Paradise.
Now to the drama. Disclaimer, aka Ray’s Conspiracy Theory (RCT). I think there is a non-zero possibility that the New Evil Genius Producers (NEGPs) set up the drama and the outcome. With the help of my Crack Research Staff (CRS), I’m gonna break it down.
With Jeremy, Dale, and Baller Gary (aka Big G) left to play their last rounds, their scores are tied.
Jeremy bets it all on his last question. If he gets it right, he and Bailey are in the lead for the date. If he gets it wrong, he and Bailey are at risk of going home. He gets it right and moves into the lead.
Dale is next, and he realizes he can’t win, so there is no reason to make a big bet and risk him and Kat going home. He wisely bets just one chip (cue Sade Smooth Operator). He wins the bet, but win or lose, he guaranteed he will stay (assuming Kat gives him her Rose).
So here’s part of my RCT. Dale could have gone for a tie with Jeremy by betting all of his chips. Remember, here was the score when it was Dale’s turn.
But when Jesse initially explained the rules, there was no explanation of what would happen in case of a tie. Dale could have bet all of his chips and tied Jeremy, but it wasn’t even discussed. It was assumed that Jeremy was the winner, and the best that either Dale or Gary could do was finish second. I wonder why.
As we’ll see, Jeremy being the winner was critical to the outcome of this test.
The last player (pun intended) was Baller Gary (aka Big G). His play is simple. He can bet all of his chips and tie, except I’ve already explained the tie thing. So he just needs to do what Dale did, i.e., bet one chip and stay out of the bottom three. Except Big G inexplicably risks enough chips (half!) to fall into the danger zone (cue Kenny Loggins Danger Zone) AND LOSES THE BET!!!!
So now the drama. The girl of the winning couple, in this case, Bailey, has to choose at the Rose Ceremony which two of the three women (Faith, Sexy Dancer Leslie, and Parissa) will get Roses to give to their guy.
By now – and by “by now” I mean the entire season – all of Bachelor Nation can see that Brian is a [insert your favorite choice of word(s) for a bad guy here] and that Parissa needs to escape this toxic relationship. And we want Baller Gary to be redeemed. So Bailey needs to give Roses to Faith and Sexy Dancer Leslie.
I’m now gonna skip over a lot of good stuff to get to my RCT. Bailey decides to save Faith and her friend Parissa. RCT says the NEGPs had already decided that Jeremy had to win and Brian had to be saved because there is a key storyline about Jeremy and Brian beef from Jenn’s Bachelorette season, and the bigger storyline about Jeremy spilling his guts to Brian about his feelings for Susie. And Jeremy winning assured that his girl (but is she really?) Bailey would get pulled into Brian’s destructive scheming. With future “relationship tests” and hot cash on the line, maximum drama is guaranteed.
My only problem is that the NEGPs used Baller Gary as collateral damage. He was an entertaining character.
What lies ahead in the final four “weeks?” 2 As My Friend and Long-Time Follower of These Musings KMD says, “Failure at love is imminent,” and I’m guessing that the future holds:
- The long-awaited Dale/Kat meltdown.
- Flirty but friend-zoning Jonathan will finally be sent packing.
- Brian will finally push Parissa over the edge.
- And The Big One, Brian will come for Jeremy, and sadly, that means he’s coming for Bailey, too.
See you next week.
P.S. This week’s viewing was a superb Halos de Jupiter Cotes de Rhone.
Ray's Musings 
”non-zero possibility” 🤣🤣🤣
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