Nestor Alexander Haddaway sends in this email from Trinidad: “What is love?”
For Andrew and Alexe, love is $125,000.
For Spencer and Jess, love is $190,000.
That’s why they call it Paradise, boys and girls, because you can love for the sake of love, AND you can love for the love of money. Let’s break it down. Buckle up. We have a LOT to cover.
First, what? No Hannah B. in the opening credits? No Hannah B. in the Finale? What is love? Love is Hannah B.
The Finale begins with one hour until The Final Rose Ceremony. Two couples would be going home, leaving three couples vying for the (up to) $500K bag. There is a lot of strategerizing for votes, which was confusing to viewers due to Jesse’s usual poor explanations. In this case, a vote FOR a couple was a vote to send them home. In other words, a vote for really meant a vote against.
If you were scoring at home, the contending teams are Andrew/Alexe, Spencer/Jess, Dale/Kat, Jeremy/Bailey, and Golden Keith/Kathy. The Goldens know their time is (finally) up, and they expect to cast the tie-breaking vote that will send one of the other couples home. Keith/Kathy get into a Jungian dilemma, where Feeling Keith wants to decide based on his subjective feelings about who has the stronger relationship. Thinking Kathy plans to interview all the couples on their financial status so that she can objectively vote for (which means against) the couple that needs the money the least. That would appear to put Dale/Kat at a disadvantage.
After all of the schemery, it’s Jeremy/Bailey joining Keith/Kathy as couples leaving Paradise (cue Kevin Max To the Dearly Departed). Despite Dale’s stash of cash, the New Evil Genius Producers (NEGPs) needed to keep Kat/Dale around for drama later in the show.
If you are still scoring at home, the remaining trio of couples is Andrew/Alexe, Spencer/Jess, and Dale/Kat. AND NOW EVERYTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE.
After another round of sending Paradisers home, a new test is introduced, entitled “Weight of the World.” It’s another silly game, using physical strength as a metaphor for strength in a relationship, because Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote many poems about how the depth of a lover’s affection was similar to the size of their biceps. And like most of the tests, the results were clearly staged, as the least apparent fit couple, Andrew/Alexe, won, which makes them safe in The Final vote-a-rama. This outcome would allow the NEGPs to play into Jess’ indecision about things moving too fast with Spencer, as well as the continued need to keep Kat/Dale available for drama later in the show.
Post-test, we see Spencer and Jess in the water, holding hands and looking longingly into each other’s eyes (cue Olly Alexander Whisper in the Waves]. She’s looking very bridal in a white dress. They drop L-words. Duly inspired, he later picks out an engagement ring with Jesse. What? Was there no budget to fly in Neil Lane?
Cut to a massive storm and power outage. Foreshadowing for Jess rejecting Spencer’s proposal? Or for the unveiling of the apocalyptic previews from last week? For whom does the bell toll?
Cut to the cocktail party, which involves only six people at this point. It’s more of an awkward triple date, what with the possibility of a couple walking away with (up to) $500K. And then things get really awkward with the return of the Not So Prince Charming Sean’s Parliament of Paradise in the form of ALL of the previously eliminated Paradise couples. So, I guess they never left? Where were they stashed? Male/Female or Co-ed dorm accommodations? Did Sexy Dancer Leslie forgive Baller Gary for his betting game faux pas that sent them home?
Jesse enters to explain why the Parliament of Paradise, featuring Prime Minister Sean and Sinister Minister Allyshia, has returned, along with some more incomprehensible rules, which I had to re-watch to understand.
The Parliament was voting to have either Spencer/Jess or Dale/Kat join Andrew/Alexe in The Finals. Each member of Parliament had three choices on their ballot:
- A) Spencer/Jess.
- B) Dale/Kat
- C) Neither.
If they voted C (Neither), Paradise is over, and Andrew/Alexe have the chance to win the whole $500K. If they voted A or B, each final couple would have the chance to win $250K.
Got it?
Each couple got to make their case to The Parliament, a process hijacked by Sean, who had plenty of tea to spill about Kat having an ex before coming to Paradise, with whom she had been in contact while in Paradise. Prior to The Finale, Allyshia spilled tea on Nick Viall’s popular Viall Files podcast about Kat’s alleged misdeeds.1 I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this much ado about nothing situation. If Sean was hoping to burn Paradise down, all he got were some quickly passing flames. Dale went into Hero Complex mode and stood by Kat. The Goldens were too old to be bothered. The NEGPs got some drama. And that was that. We move on.
Cut to the next morning, and Jess is still expressing anxiety about accepting a proposal from Spencer. And while the three couples are having breakfast, Jesse arrives with the voting results. Dale/Kat were voted out of Paradise, an outcome that was happening without Sean’s shenanigans, given Spencer/Jess’s status as The First Couple in Paradise. Andrew and Alexe are safe by virtue of their win in the Weight of the World “relationship” test. Dale and Kat say their goodbyes in good spirits.
And then we get something complicated that actually is complicated. Jesse separates the two couples and then calls each of the partners separately to a table with a bag overflowing with hot cash. It’s $250,000. It’s the last test. A prisoner’s dilemma.
Read this carefully. Each of the four individuals has to choose money or love. If they choose love, they go to a VIP Suite and wait to see how their partner chooses.
- If they both chose love, they are reunited in relationship, but with no guarantee of money.
- If both partners chose the money, they leave Paradise with nothing. Nada. Zilch.
- If one partner chooses the money and the other chooses love, the partner who chooses the money gets the $250K bag.
Got it?
The NEGPs were slick about this all season. We were led to believe that eventually, couples would have to choose love OR money. But that was only partially true. Because it’s a prisoner’s dilemma, the couples weren’t deciding together whether THEY wanted love or the money. EACH partner had to make their decision independently of the other. YOU could choose money and get none (#2). YOU could also choose money and get it (#3). We also got new news that it was possible to have both love and money (#1) with the slyly worded “no guarantee of money,” which isn’t the same as foregoing the money.
I’m guessing most viewers joined me in believing that there would be money for the couples who chose love, which Jesse hinted at throughout the season by saying they could win “up to” $250K.
Andrew chooses first and chooses love. But he tells Jesse he knows how much the money would mean to Alexe with her crushing student loans, and he just wants her to do what’s best for her. We’ve seen Dale’s Hero complex. Andrew is showing us the White Knight archetype, who is willing to sacrifice it all for his lady.2
Alexe chooses Andrew. And as their prize, Jesse invites them to open one of three envelopes. The one they chose has a check for $125,000.
Spencer chooses love, but not before sharing his own fears that he might not be chosen back. I’m 100% certain this was NEGP prompting to create suspense.
Finally, Jess has to decide if she is up to accepting an anticipated engagement if she chooses love. Again showing up in a white dress, Jess chooses love.
Spencer quotes Sam the Sham by saying he was grateful that he and Jess were able to keep the main thing the main thing, and the main thing was love. He and Jess pick an envelope that has a check for $190,000.3
And Spencer does the one knee with a ring thing, and Jess says yes.
And thus ends Bachelor in Paradise.
Much to the relief of viewers like me who go to great lengths to avoid post-Paradise news about the couples during the season, the NEGPs added a new wrinkle by giving us an update of the relationship statuses of The Final Five, so we didn’t have to rush to Google immediately when the show ended:
- Andrew/Alexe – have met each other’s fams, Alexe is planning to move to Chicago, and they used the money to pay off her debts.
- Spencer/Jess – still engaged but not in a rush to get married, and Jess is planning to move to Dallas in the new year.
- Dale/Kat – exploring the US and plan on moving closer to each other.
- Jeremy/Bailey – met each other’s fams and are planning to live in the same city soon.
- Golden Keith/Kathy – still friends.
Another new wrinkle was the announcement of The Reunion podcasts. Sounds like a Paradise version of After the Final Rose. Part 1 drops on Wednesday. Part 2 comes out Friday. And Saturday, the pods appear on YouTube. They have piqued my curiosity, but there is no guarantee that I will listen or watch.
Finally, that’s a wrap! See you next year, as Season 30 of The Bachelor is scheduled to air in January 2026.
P.S. Stay tuned, as I may add my (generally positive) thoughts about the changes implemented by the new showrunners this season. You can also stay tuned for my musical musings. 🎶
P.P.S. For The Finale, I chose an old favorite, San Gregorio Single Vineyard Las Martas Garnacha, an incredible bargain at $11.99 from Total Wine.
- I have not listened to it. ↩︎
- This concludes the Jungian references in this blog. ↩︎
- I’m guessing that each couple could have drawn an envelope with a $250K check. If you work the math (I do math instinctively wherever I see numbers LOL), $250K was the “up to” money available, $125K is half of that, and $190K is the round number halfway between the two. ↩︎
Ray's Musings 
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