Tl;dr Second episode. Short, tight dresses. Still too many girls. Lots of cleavage. Cattiness abounds.  Regular version There are still too many girls to make sense of. Last week, I suggested that we pay close attention to Litia and Carolina as contestants who might play a significant role in Grant’s proceedings (and also Dina, Chloie,... Continue Reading →

[Cue The Marvelettes Too Many Fish in the Sea] Too many fish in the sea I said, there's short ones, tall ones, fine ones, kind ones Too many fish in the sea [Cue The Chiffons He’s So Fine] He's so fine (Doo-lang-doo-lang-doo-lang) Wish he were mine (Doo-lang-doo-lang-doo-lang) That handsome, Ferrari-driving, baller boy over there (Some... Continue Reading →

Best. Bachelor. Season. Ever. Best. Bachelor. Ever. Best. Episode. Ever. Best. Fake. Bachelorette. Announcement. Ever. Best. Not. The. Bachelorette. Ever. [cue Tina Turner The Best] Best. Bachelor. Season. Ever. Because of Joey (see Best. Bachelor. Ever. below). Because of a very compelling potential fiance´ (see Best. Not. The. Bachelorette. Ever.). Because of a very compelling,... Continue Reading →

It took Jesse less than 30 seconds to promise us that this would be an “explosive and emotional” Women Tell All. And less than 20 seconds later, he introduced the Golden Bachelorettes in the audience and their new podcast. So, if you had “dramatic, hyperbolic announcement” and “mention of Golden Bachelorettes” in your Bachelor Drinking... Continue Reading →

Welcome to my recap of this week’s episode of The Golden Bachelorettes Are Coming! The Golden Bachelorettes Are Coming! The Suits at ABC (sABCs) are doing their darndest to make sure we tune in to the newest installment of The Bachelor franchise whenever that turns out to happen. Meanwhile, in other news, Maria experienced a... Continue Reading →

Cue Maria from West Side Story. Cue Ave Maria. Cue Santana’s Maria, Maria. Cue R.B. Greaves Take a Letter Maria. Cue My Maria, I Did What I Did for Maria, O Maria, Dear Maria Count Me In[1]. Cue ALL the Maria songs[2]. It had to end this way. Even though we waited for 80 of... Continue Reading →

It’s been a LONG and exhausting work week thus far, so this entry will be shorter and more to the point than is typical. But didn’t the episode feel that way? It, too, moved quickly to its raison d’etre of determining whose families Joey would meet. With hometown-to-meet-the-fam visits on the line, the Evil Genius... Continue Reading →