Take Me Home Tonight

“Caelynn, I’m sorry. Take a moment. Say your goodbyes.” Day-um. I didn’t see that coming which was obvious as just a few minutes earlier My Daughter Cassandra and I were screaming, “HE PICKED TAYSHIA????” So, she turned out to be the dark horse? Day-um. Caelynn was obviously surprised, too, as all she could think of... Continue Reading →

Trashing Her for the Love of You

One of my favorite things about The Bachelor franchise are the misdirections. You see previews with your own eyes and hear the conversations with your own ears and are shocked by what they mean[1]. Ah, but without full context, the evil genius producers know we are like naive sheep so easily led astray. In this... Continue Reading →

Sympathy for the Devil

[alternative title Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead] “I’m sorry for your loss, Dad.” [cue The Love I Lost by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes] I appreciated my daughter’s heartfelt sentiments. Indeed, I was more than momentarily dazed by the demise of Demi the Dastardly Diva. I was also stunned by how it seemed to... Continue Reading →

Is She More Than the Dark Horse?

They just don’t get it, do they? In this case, it’s Elyse who can’t seem to handle the heat she put herself into, i.e. wanting to be solo with a guy who’s dating fifteen other women BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THIS SHOW WORKS!!!!! So, Elyse packed up and left but not before explaining that it wasn’t... Continue Reading →

Keep Hope Alive. Or Not.

[cue High Hopes, either Sinatra or Panic! At the Disco] Sydney the NBA Dancer hopes all the drama between the girls is over (that sound you hear is me snickering). Caelyn hopes her pageanty past with Hannah B. won’t come between her and Colton (that sound you hear is me snorting). Of course, we experienced... Continue Reading →

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