Here’s Your Riesling

Minneapolis!!! Cool city. Been a couple of times. Made the pilgrimage to the Holy Ground that is the First Avenue club and felt the spirit of being where Prince once trod. Went to the Electric Fetus record store. Saw the Mary Tyler Moore statue,

The episode began with a very dire and dramatic intro despite nothing dire and dramatic happening, Chris the Snake’s ill-fated shenanigans aside. It was actually a delightful episode. My dear friend CS, a loyal follower of these Musings, called it right when she told me that we need traveling dates again. My text to her this evening:

Yearbook picture

Baller Joe gets the 1-on-1, and my immediate thoughts of them playing 1-on-1 in their shared hometown came to fruition, although my immediate thoughts had them at the Target Center[1] rather than her high school. While the high school makes romantic sense, given Joes’ unfulfilled hoop dreams, the big arena would have added even more poignancy to his heart-wrenching story, which broke me. Broken body, loss of identity, physical and mental torment. Brutal.

I think Baller Joe is a serious contender. If only he hadn’t ghosted her when she was in his DMs, they might have been 1-on-1 already.

Pet peeve: introverts on the show (and mostly in real life) always have to explain why they are reserved in their personality as if it’s something terrible that happened to make them that way. Introversion is a common personality characteristic shared by half the human race. Stop already.

The Group Date at U.S. Bank Stadium was a clever misdirection away from football Vikings to actual Vikings, and by actual, I mean three fat guys dressed up as Vikings of the non-football variety. This got me feeling a kind of way about Leaves’ Eyes, who used to be one of my favorite bands until a very nasty falling out with their heavenly lead singer Liv Kristine. I haven’t listened to any of their music without her. Anyway, they’re a Norwegian metal group known for songs about Vikings. But I digress.

(Lizzo’s “new man on the Minnesota Vikings” from Truth Hurts popped in my head, too. And I just digressed, again.)

The guys engaged in a variety of Viking activities that thankfully did not involve swords, axes, lances, or spears but did involve some disgusting-looking food. Most importantly, the guys went out of their way to make sure Michelle felt seen except for Chris the Snake, who thought she should be coming to him.

Clayton, as the most Viking-like guy in the group, won the Viking games. As an added bonus, he got the Group Date Rose.

Nayte was the guy whose name was NOT called for the Group Date, which means he received the other 1-on-1, which really got Chris the Snake in his feelings in a bad way. Nayte gets to go boating with Michelle and her BFFs on Lake Minnetonka – shout out to the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) for the Purple Rain reference. At least, I’m choosing to believe the date was for that purpose.

I also thought the EGPs were doing some foreshadowing by having Baller Joe read Nayte his date card.

Last two standing? One of them kneeling?

The BFFs like Nayte and like his and Michelle’s physical vibe, so their coupledom gets their seal of approval. However, that seal of approval was the last thing on Chris the Snake’s mind as he has already read Nayte for filth. So, he decides to make his ill-fated move of crashing their dinner date. Have we ever seen this before? I don’t recall such a thing happening. Nayte was sure surprised.

We all knew this wasn’t going to end well for The Snake and Michelle said, “I’ll walk you out,” which actually meant she’d stop at the escalator and he could take it from there to the Limo of Shame.

Nayte, on the other hand, got the Fireworks in Her Hometown, and they had the first “falling for you” convo of the season [cue Alicia Keys Fallin’]. This is another relationship that bears serious scrutiny.

And, yes, KMD (dear friend and loyal follower of these Musings), there was a cocktail party![2] Michelle looked all kinds of fine – that dress! – and I gotta say, I admired Casey handing Michelle a glass of white and identifying the varietal.

This is such a me thing to say, although if I were really trying to impress her, I would have added where it was from and who the winemaker was. Just sayin’.

The Rose Ceremony was notable for Martin aka Frosty tripping all over his chauvinism about women being high maintenance. It’s perhaps a thing that will impact him eventually, but although the EGPS made it seem like it would be a thing at the Ceremony, there were still other guys Michelle and we knew nothing about that she had to send packing. This group included Wine Guy.

As I said, this was an enjoyable episode. Now that we’re down to a workable number of guys, the EGPs will be able to focus on the connections with occasional juicy distractions of drama as things get serious.

See you next week.

P.S. This week’s viewing wine: Bound 2020 Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s bold, fruit-forward, and full-bodied. High-quality and half-price at my local Costco. 🙂


[1] Home of the NBA Timberwolves.

[2] Your text was hysterical LOL

One thought on “Here’s Your Riesling

Add yours

  1. I did enjoy the upbeat pace of this episode. I think there are two or three serious contenders. Buh-bye, Chris!
    LOL “I would have added where it was from and who the winemaker was. Just sayin’.” 🥰

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: