I’ll admit up front that this recap will be less than my usual stellar effort. This week turned out far busier than expected. And who are we kidding, anyway? This past episode didn’t exactly burn with I-need-to-write-this-STAT energy. Getting through this whole season is turning into a commitment. Basically, I’m here for the wrong reasons:
1. To see who Clayton is going to end up with and then break up with after the contractually obligated engagement ring period (I’m betting on either Susie or Sarah).
2. To see who the candidates are for the next Bachelorette (I’m betting on either Susie or Sarah).
3. And who we want to see in Paradise (Gabby seems like she’d be fun).
That said, the week off helped bring in viewers, an additional 430,000 of them from two weeks before. And that said, it still leaves this season far behind last year – on average, a bit over 1.8 million viewers less tuning in to see Clayton than Matt James.
As with last week, I’m offering observations as a form of recap.
[cue Queen Stone Cold Crazy] Cassidy is sent packing but not with a whimper. She had angrily spoiled the surprise on her IG with a post that has since been deleted, undoubtedly inspired by an inconvenient thing called a contract. Does she not know how much money contestants make in the Bachelor after-life?
Somehow, Clayton kept Cray Cray Shanaenae around. However, the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) made Clayton keep Cray Cray Shanaenae around.
Memo to EGPs: If you aren’t getting rid of Cray Cray Shanaenae, can you at least stop Clayton from wearing hoodies with a blazer? Yikes!
In response to the three dates (The Truth Game; Baywatch; and Clayton and Sarah running around LA in their skivvies, My Daughter Diandra (MDD) said, “Maybe they blew their budget on Hilary Duff (last week) and needed cheap dates!” LOL
Speaking of Hilary Duff, whose appearance nicely coincided with the promotion of her TV show How I Met Your Father, similarly, Pamela Anderson’s cameo in the Baywatch date was suitably timed for the premier of the Pam and Tommy miniseries coming next week. #Productplacement
Shrimp-gate. Elizabeth makes shrimp for the house. Cray Cray Shanaenae eats it all.
Cray Cray: [cue Duran Duran Hungry Like a Wolf]
That’s it. That’s all I got this week, boys and girls. Maybe things will get better once Clayton and the EGPs narrow down the
clutter contestants and cut out the crazy.
P.S. This week’s viewing wine – a pleasant but somewhat forgettable Italian red: http://wine.castellomeleto.com/wines/borgaio-rosso
 I’m a legend in my and my imaginary friend’s minds.
 Thank My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) for that fabulous nickname.