COVID Calling

Zach and his 11 remaining women go to London. This was a tough episode for me. Not intending a humble brag and it’s clearly a First World problem but I really miss London and long to go again for a fourth time. Many tourist memories of exploring the city, meeting Facebook friends in person, seeing Adele’s Hello video for the first time on BBC TV, hitting up record stores[1] – I could go on and on. But enough of my issues. This blog is supposed to be about Zach’s issues and he, and especially his ladies have issues.

One girl with issues was Greer, an early favorite who has had very little screen time since the first week. She finally got plenty this week and not in a good way. Most of her time was spent whining and it began with whining about how she NEEEEEEEEEEDS a 1-on-1 or she is going to lose her mind.

Unfortunately for her, it was Gabi who got a 1-on-1 of the treasured shopping date aka Pretty Woman date variety. This date is a special trope in Bachelor history because the girl comes out of it feeling very, very special; she gets to flex all her expensive stuff in front of the other girls; and it’s often (but not always) a predictor of someone who is going to be around for a while. Gabi literally got Royal treatment being chauffeured in a Rolls Royce and served by a former butler of the King and Queen consort.

For the most part, the other girls dealt well with Gabi showing off her spoils. Greer, however, was not one of those girls. She has a thing for tea, she has a tat on her wrist of a teacup, she’s dreamed of having tea in London, she told Zach she has a thing for tea. Tea, tea, tea. She already was not coping with hearing about Gabi’s date but when she found out that Gabi got tea . . .

Greer exits stage left to go cry on the floor in a hallway. Therapist[2] Charity goes after her and demonstrates high-quality empathy skills. She really needed those skills when Gabi – in what had to be a move prompted by the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) – walked right past Greer with her shopping bags on the way to her room.

Gabi and Zach’s date continues at dinner where he “gets to know her for her” and they get serenaded by UB40, an 80s’ UK band that was hot for a minute (Red Red Wine) but hasn’t been heard from in the U.S. for 30 years. Zach also tells Gabi that, like her, he’s had the experience of thinking he knew someone, but it turned out that he didn’t. Was that a shot at Rachael from that bad overnight they had on The Bachelorette?

Back at the girls’ hotel, the ominous knock on the door alerts them to a date card. Figuring that it’s a Group Date Card, Mercedes and Greer are anxiously hoping to NOT hear their names, because both of them NEEEEEEEEEEDS a 1-on-1 or they’re going to lose their minds. Obviously, they both can’t be the one whose name isn’t called for the Group Date but the EGPs choose violence by having them both included in the Group Date while Charity is who gets the other 1-on-1.

Alas, Zach gets COVID the day after his date with Gabi. There is no Group Date, no cocktail party, and no 1-on-1 for Charity. And for the second hour of the episode, I have LOTS of questions.

  • I know there is a lot of editing, but couldn’t the EGPs let us know if Gabi got a COVID test since she spent a whole day with Zach?
  • Is it the girls’ personalities or what the show does to people that caused the girls to be so in their feelings about their feelings rather than how Zach was feeling?
  • Among those feelings was the feeling of being left “in limbo”. Limbo? In London? Seriously?
  • I know there is a lot of editing, but was Kaity the only one who showed concern for Zach, or did the EGPs choose just her to make and deliver a get-well gift basket to Zach? (I’m guessing the latter.)

But Zach to the rescue!!! Jesse Palmer credits Zach with the brilliant idea to meet with the girls virtually in place of a cocktail party as if Zach heard about this new-fangled thing called FaceTime that Jesse knew nothing about. And in her face time FaceTime with Zach, Greer makes the faux pas of comparing Zach’s search for love to her meeting her year-end sales goals. Zach was understandably not understanding about that comparison, which allowed the EGPs to get us to play Will He or Won’t He in terms of Greer being a continuing part of Zach’s journey.


(take a minute to gather yourself and get some perspective on this astonishing moment in the advancement of mankind)

Greer manages to get the last rose and it’s goodbye to Mercedes and Kylee – she was the other shoe to drop from her contretemps with Stasi that got Stasi booted last week. Greer is now in an interesting situation. The last few roses given are often indicators of someone with a high probability of going home the following week. However, the exception to that “rule” is the villain, especially if the lead has feelings for the villain, which I believe Zach has for Greer. And because of her constant immature pouting and clueless utterances, Greer has gone from an early favorite to something of a villain. This will make next week for her very interesting.

See you then.

P.S. This week’s viewing wine is a quality-to-price ratio fave Marchese di Borgosole Appassimento Rosso Puglia. Amore!

[1] Most of my current favorite music artists come from London. Too many to mention but here are more than a few: Dua Lipa, Katy B, Jessie Ware, Royal Blood, Gorgon City, Eli & Fur, Paloma Faith, Rag ‘n’ Bone Man.

[2] Actual professional therapist.

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