The scene for Jenn and Her Guys shifts from Melbin, Australia, to Auckland, New Zealand. There’s a scene of a space needle-type situation, which I immediately took as foreshadowing, which turned out to be correct. But first, we met Jenn and Jesse and got some fascinating insight into the history of one of The Bachelor Franchise’s most enduring mysteries – why don’t people eat the dinner served on their dinner dates?
Jesse admitted that HE was the problem on his season of The Bacehelor, as his consumption of the dinner appeared to take precedence over deepening his connection with his date. It was pretty gross watching him chow down, and it was also funny, given that the point of the dates is conversation, not food intake.
However, I kinda feel we’ve lost something to mock about the show now that the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) have told us this.
Foreshadowing and fun intro aside, this episode was about The Two Sams, Sam M and Sam N. Sam M, aka Sam the Sham, gets the first 1-on-1, and, of course, it’s at the Auckland Sky Tower, the tallest free-standing fixture in the Southern Hemisphere. According to Google’s AI:
The Sky Tower is also a tourist attraction with many things to do, including:
- Visiting the observation levels, which are accessible to the public and offer 360-degree views
- Visiting SkyBar on level 50 for a drink and views
- Trying adrenaline-fueled challenges at the top of the tower, which has no handrails to separate you from the 192-meter drop
- Practicing yoga in the sky
Me (all of the above):
Jenn: I ain’t jumpin’.
And it literally goes down from here in mostly emotionally and relationally awful ways.
The assignment for the “adrenaline dates” is simple: make the woman feel safe, supported, seen, and heard regarding her fears, and that you’re there in the ways that she needs you to be there for her1. Sam the Sham fails the assignment badly by showing what a narcissistic, emotionally vapid, socially oblivious monster he is in his determination to make her do the jump from the tower when she is clearly afraid to do so.
That determination was fueled by Sam the Sham’s entitlement to decide for Jenn that she will do it and like it. After some shaming and browbeating, he smugly laughs about giving her a push if she doesn’t jump on her own. What? It’s all about him – how HE wants to have a story to look back on about HIS future wife – how presumptuous is that? – and she’ll be happy she did it – how even more presumptuous is that?
After trying to convince Jenn that her 5,327,210 signs of fear were less important than his need for speed and to be the hero in his own story – “Look what I helped you to overcome!” – when she starts to cry, he finally gets a clue. And then he stays in character by telling her, “Don’t do it, then. Just don’t do it. Just don’t do it.”
The “reassurance” is so evidently too little and too late, but it is enough to get Jenn to take the leap. That’s worrisome. She also admits that they have such a strong physical connection, which she has equated as emotional intimacy in the past. That’s worrisome, too. And at “dinner”, after she opened herself up to him, Sam’s response to her question of what he wants in a relationship was “wild, passionate, intimate”. Another canned saying from Sam the Sham, which had me thinking about Madonna’s Respect Yourself:
Satin sheets are very romanticWhat happens when you’re not in bed?
He gets the rose and things seem hunky dory. But I can’t seem him going the distance despite Jenn’s misguided attaction. Much like Hannah B extricated herself from the clutches of the Luke-ness Monster, I think Jenn will do the same.
We shift to the reading of names of guys we still don’t know for a Group Date, and Devin’s name is conspicuously absent from that list, which means he is getting a 1-on-1. This is fabulous. Rather than have Devin and his nemesis Sam the Sham go through a 2-on-1, the EGPs set up separate 1-on-1s. And they spiced things up by having Sam the Sham return to the hotel suite with only Devin there because the Group Date guys are out with Jenn. Once again, Sam the Sham has a LOT to say about how he has nothing to say to Devin and how he’s not even thinking about him while all he does is talk about Devin.
The Group Date was ostensibly a Rugby match but it was really about our other star Sam, Love Virgin Sam N manifesting closing the deal with Jenn. The EGPs have his team win, of course, so he can peacock the other guys at the winning team’s Time with Jenn. Sam N struts around, acts a fool, and the guys read him for filth. Almost before Jenn finishes greeting the guys, Sam N grabs her for a chat which incites all kinds of beef with them. Especially incited is Thomas N, who has appointed himself The Corrector of All Grievances, a role he consistently fulfills very badly. Maybe try to sit it out, bro? Just a thought.
Amidst the fast-flowing testosterone, Marcus has a good chat with Jenn. I’m calling it now – he’s a serious contender and will get a Hometown Visit.
Thomas N gets his time with Jenn interrupted by the narcissistic, emotionally vapid, and socially oblivious – haven’t I said this about somebody already? – Sam N who wants to take he and Jenn’s “relationship” to the next level with a kiss. Jenn’s like, “Request denied and I’ll walk you out.” I predicted in Week 1 that he was only going to be around briefly for comedic value. So let it written. So let it be done.
Marcus gets the Group Date rose and the guys are happy for him.
With the story of the Sams out of the way for now – one narcissistic, emotionally vapid, socially oblivious Sam (M) in, one narcissistic, emotionally vapid, socially oblivious Sam (N) out – Devin gets his 1-on-1. I texted to My Daughter Cassandra (MDC) and watch-partner-from-a-distance-CSP that I thought this might go badly. I was clearly wrong. The socially awkward but likable Devin (like Maria from last season’s The Bachelor) was just plain likable, and they had a GREAT date. We know they had a great date cuz they got an opera singer performing while they made out. Jenn seems somewhat smitten.
That said, I think he’s going to be The Brutally Bad Breakup of this season.
And then staged and questionable drama. An ex of Jenn (a three-month relationship?) skips a wedding in Colombia they were supposed to attend together and flies 24 hours to somehow arrive just moments before The Rose Ceremony. This story has a LOT of missing pieces.
The EGPs deploy a familiar Hallmark movie setup2, where Person A is longingly looking out into the horizon and Person B walks up behind Person A without Person A ever noticing Person B until Person A turns around right as they feel the breath of Person B on their neck. And then, Person A says, “What are you doing here?”3
A shocked (somehow she didn’t look THAT shocked?) Jenn hears her ex plead for one more chance at love and an engagement, despite only having dated for three months. This could only happen on a show where couples get engaged after flying around the world, dating numerous people for a few weeks and will have known the person they get engaged to for about 20 minutes. If you look at it that way, what her ex did seems quite reasonable.
What Jenn decides to do about her ex is the cliff that we are left hanging on. The EGPs give us some previews which will likely turn out to be deceptive in some way.
And that’s a wrap.
See you next week.
P.S. This week’s viewing wine was French in honor of The Olympics: La Tannelle Haut Medoc, a blend of Cabernet Sauvignon (60%), Merlot (35%), and Petit Verdot (10%). Very nice once it opened up.
Ray's Musings 
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