Play Ball!

We’re almost at the halfway point and I’m starting to feel that Paradise energy that Jill described so well: "Paradise is built DIFFERENT. Totally, like wheels off the bus, careening out of control." Wait. Wut? We're NOT nearing the halfway point? The suits at ABC (sABCs) have added SIX MORE EPISODES?? We're going into the... Continue Reading →

73% More Mayhem to Go

Three episodes down. Eight more to go. When “anything can happen in Paradise”, it’s folly to place any significance on what has transpired to this point with 73% of the mayhem still in front of us. And it’s the self-mocking relationship anarchy that is the charm of this gem in The Bachelor franchise. How seriously... Continue Reading →

Paradise and Stuff (mostly stuff)

This blog comes a little late as Tuesday night I was caught up [cue Usher] in my own real reality rather than my favorite edited-for-storyline-purposes reality and was not able to watch Paradise in real-time (is time even real in Paradise?). I am caught up (that song is an epic, classic banger) now and I... Continue Reading →

Did We Need This?

Texts between MDD and I I am not one given to profanity, especially in a public forum, but wow, Tuesday’s agonizingly long episode was a total shit show. Yep, worse than a cluster**** (I already used up my profanity allotment) and way worse than a dumpster fire. The stench is so deep, I fear I... Continue Reading →

Broke, Broke

Broken. The Bachelor franchise is broken. It’s always been stupid and once upon a time, we were fine with that. But now it’s moved beyond stupid to a place where we feel stupid for devoting our lives to something so stupid. The conceit of the show has been that their “process” can lead two people... Continue Reading →

Preparing for the Most Shock Ever

We interrupt this blog for more breaking news on the Flo-Olivia-Harry-Chris-Shia[1] situation. Not really. But the way that Jessie, and then the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) previews made the last five minutes sound, it’s basically as hot a mess as the Don’t Worry Darling cast but with less famous people. The previews – to the... Continue Reading →

The Men Tell Small

Monday night’s The Men Tell All was brought to you by Virgin Voyages, who has the juice to make the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) move a Rose Ceremony out of the show to make time for an in-show live promotion. Holy PR, Batman! Jessie said we could see the Rose Ceremony where ALL six guys... Continue Reading →

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