Too Good for Idol?

SOME OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR TALENT WE’VE EVER HEARD! AWE-INSPIRING PERFORMANCES!! THE GREATEST AUDITION IDOL HAS EVER SEEN!!! ONE OF THE MOST COMPELLING AUDITIONS EVER!!!! Not that it takes much, anyway, but nothing like a little insanely over the top hyperbole to animate my inner Simon Cowell. I was ready to hate everybody. Have we... Continue Reading →

Everybody’s In Their Feelings

[Scroll down if you want to see who I think the next Bachelorette is.] The Women Tell All (and its far less interesting associate Men Tell All) follows a familiar pattern: Scenes from Bachelor franchise history (gotta keep building that brand!). Insane free for all where the contestants get to rekindle their bad feelings about... Continue Reading →

He [bleep] Jumped The Fence

Take cover, boys and girls! We’re gonna cue up The Gap Band You Dropped A Bomb On Me and put it on auto-repeat. I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come back in for normal viewing, probably shortly after verification that Chris Harrison has retrieved a shell-shocked Colton roaming around the Portuguese countryside. Let’s... Continue Reading →

Idol’s Back and So Am I

After all of these years my favorite phrase on television is still, “YOU’RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!!” Well, that and when Chris Harrison tells some broken-hearted loser on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, “[Name of broken-hearted loser] I’m sorry. Take a moment. Say your goodbyes.” The excitement of the Idolists when they get that Golden Ticket, the knowledge that... Continue Reading →

Take Me Home Tonight

“Caelynn, I’m sorry. Take a moment. Say your goodbyes.” Day-um. I didn’t see that coming which was obvious as just a few minutes earlier My Daughter Cassandra and I were screaming, “HE PICKED TAYSHIA????” So, she turned out to be the dark horse? Day-um. Caelynn was obviously surprised, too, as all she could think of... Continue Reading →

Trashing Her for the Love of You

One of my favorite things about The Bachelor franchise are the misdirections. You see previews with your own eyes and hear the conversations with your own ears and are shocked by what they mean[1]. Ah, but without full context, the evil genius producers know we are like naive sheep so easily led astray. In this... Continue Reading →

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