Viking Games

It’s Part Two in the Dramatic Two-Night Television Event! As expected, NONE of the preview clips matched the Kenny the Wrestler vs. The Snake kerfuffle. And perhaps because of the build-up to the resolution of their hostilities, the rest of Part Two in the Dramatic Two-Night Television Event felt decidedly low-energy for me.

As hoped, the Snake was sent back to the grass from whence he came. About that Rachel had this to say:

And as I thought would happen, Kenny would get sent home although not in the manner I expected. I really thought his going back to confront The Snake after he and Rachel were ready to take the chopper out of the cold, open field – really, what kind of date was that? – was, as My Daughter Cassandra said, “beyond unnecessary”. So I figured she would send him packing right then and there but since there was only one chopper, I guess that would have been problematic.

As always, I do really like Rachel’s proclivity[1] for sending guys home with haste and without drama when she knows it’s not happening with them. In tonight’s case, it turned out to be Kenny and Will that were spared the Rose Ceremony.

Speaking of Rose Ceremonies, we all understand that when somebody confidently shouts, “I feel good! Woooh!”, like Josiah, that’s another Kiss of Death, right? And who are Matt and Adam and how are they still getting roses?

Tonight’s group date featured Viking games. Skipping how utterly ridiculous some of the brothers looked in Viking get-up, this gives me an opportunity to drop a little Viking mythology and music on ya’ll. Rachel said that she felt like a Viking Goddess of Love. The Viking Goddess of love, sex, beauty, fertility, and some other stuff is Freyja. She also presides over a heavenly field where she receives into the afterlife half of those that died in battle (the other half go to the regal halls of Valhalla in the mountaintop realm Asgard ruled over by Odin)[2].

Kenny, having courageously lost in the battle for Rachel’s heart would likely have gone on to Valhalla. On the other hand, the dishonorable Snake would have been consigned to yet another Norse underworld, Hel, ruled by the grim, harsh and cruelly indifferent Goddess of the same name.

What other Bachelorette blog can drop such deep, wonky knowledge on you like this?

And music. Yes, I listen to Viking music! With tales of valorous warriors and their beloved Norse women! If the producers had wanted to create an intense sense of realism, I really think there was a missed opportunity for a song like this to have been played during the Viking games (Norwegian/German band Leaves’ Eyes).

With much of the clutter finally gone – except I still have no idea who Matt and Adam are – I think Rachel’s favorites are (in no particular order): Bryan the Kissy Chiropractor; Gap-Toothed Peter; and Dean. She really seems into Eric who needs too much affirmation for me. I’m thinking she’ll figure that out.

Hopefully now that the whole Snake thing is done with, the rest of the season can recapture its mojo.

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[1] In my previous blog I used “penchant” so I was going for another “p” word.

[2] Please appreciate my years of reading Thor comics in my youth plus a nerdy lifelong interest in Greek, Roman and Norse mythology. In 5th grade, I wrote and directed a play based on Greek mythology that was performed for the school. I played Zeus and cast the cutest girl in the class as Hera, my wife.