As always, I had written a page full of lovingly snarky notes as raw material for my usual lovingly snarky (and hopefully, high quality) take on this week’s episode (#4). But I didn’t see the gut-punch coming. I don’t know how others felt when Caelyn told her story of her sexual assault but it sure got real quiet in our house. And when Colton followed it up with his own story of how a previous girlfriend had been assaulted, well, that sure knocked all the snark – loving and otherwise – out of me. No matter how much editing/production went into those moments during their 1-on-1, that conversation felt raw and real to me.
Obviously casting and storyboard decisions went into making this a part of the season. How it all plays out remains to be seen. Perhaps there will be a shift from here in terms of how the show handles the thing I’m not going to talk about this season. Or probably not. 😦
Continuing along this vein of sincerity, in my mind Caelyn has clearly moved to Serious Contender Status by virtue of getting one of the coveted 1-on-1’s after getting a Group Date Rose last week AND after all of last week’s drama over her pageanty past with Other Hannah AND after an amazing shopping trip where Colton rightfully found himself drooling each time she put on yet another fabulous dress. You know she looked great when the other women in my house co-signed my own gushing. Killer attire aside, it’s clear Colton is smitten and there’s a hometown visit in her future, right?
As a related aside, it was nice to see the Battling Beauty Queens hug it out and put aside their pageanty past differences. Still, with Colton’s obvious affection for Caelyn, the clock is ticking on The Other Hannah’s time.
As another related aside, in spite of Caelyn’s many killer dresses, the dress of the night for me was Cassie’s.
Moving off of the subject of dresses, it’s also quite clear that My Girl Hannah B. (please don’t confuse her with The Other Hannah) also has Serious Contender Status. That was quite the smoldering alone time they had at the cocktail party. Is it Caelyn vs. Hannah G. for Colton taking a knee?
I’m really enjoying seeing Demi the Dastardly Diva devilishly raising the dimensions of her dirty deeds and dialogue. She is a very different villain than my gold standard Cruella de Courtney (from Ben the Winemaker’s season) but I am becoming quite enchanted with her own unique brand of villainry. Chris Harrison, make sure your minions make sure that Dastardly Demi is on Paradise this summer. I am so here for that.
Things Colton and the girls did but I won’t ever, ever do in Singapore: bungee jump; allow leeches on my body; and eat bullfrogs, fish eyes and other nasty exotic wildlife. Can a brother find a good burger and spicy Malbec in Singapore? And more of that electronic dance music they were playing in the intro to the group date party?
Caelyn or My Girl Hanna G. Do you have anybody else? Cassie as a possible dark horse?
Until the next time . . .
 Taysha got the other one. She’s cute. They had fun. But I’m not feeling it. Maybe the bungee jumping terrified me.
 Sorry, I couldn’t avoid the football reference. And it’s one that I may find myself using again and again.
 This should be a word.