My Inner Simon Hates Meh

Thanks to the magic of the interwebs that worked better than my local ABC affiliate WJLA last night, I was able to see the good auditions I missed during WJLA’s greenout/rainbowout/bufferingout last night (and able to efficiently fast-forward through the fraudulent ones). Two auditions really, really stoodout:

• Ashley Hess behind the piano singing Norah Jones Don’t Know Why;
• Evelyn Cormier with the deep voice on Wicked Game that was a surprisingly effective contrast to Chris Isaak’s original.

Which brings me to tonight where my inner Simon Cowell was unleashed. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen a number of really good Idolists already. Maybe it’s because I know the producers have saved some really good ones to spring on us in Hollywood. Maybe it’s because tonight’s audition crop was just meh. Whatever it was, my inner Simon would have given out very few golden tickets. Inner Simon needs more than meh.

And then last season’s Idol winner Maddie Poppe showed up to “audition” disguised (and acting) as an asocial goth girl. That was fun and funny!

And with no mention of whether she and last season’s runner-up Caleb Hutchinson are still a thing[1], he also shows up supporting a friend who auditioned. Alas, his friend was less than meh and didn’t go through to Hollywood.

Ah, but those sneaky evil genius producers saved the best for last. Sad or overcoming (depending on your point of view) story aside, Jackson Gillies was really good. My inner Simon was pleased.

I also would have easily given a golden ticket to Zebulon Spencer, the country singer Luke liked.

There were two Idolists who were borderline for me. Chloe Channell is a 16-year old country singer being mentored by one-time country star Billy Dean who I think I remember even though I wouldn’t know a country song if Travis Tritt came over to my house to sing. She was a bit too earnest in her delivery but there could be something there with the right song choices – inner Simon would like to see if she can handle something more mainstream pop/country.

Handsome, onetime Nickelodeon TV actor Nick Merico has a decent, slightly better than meh voice and will certainly appeal to the girls IF he gets to the voting rounds.

And that’s it for auditions, folks! This is the last of my usual disclaimers that audition performances are not indicative of future results because next week is Hollywood Week WHERE THIS SEASON’S BEST SINGERS WILL FACE THE MOST GRUELING TEST OF THEIR CAREERS! TESTING THEIR NERVES! THEIR STAMINA! AND, OF COURSE, THEIR TALENT! WILL THEY RISE – OR FALL – UNDER THE PRESSURE . . . OF THE INFAMOUS, BRUTAL [pause for effect] HOLLYWOOD WEEK?[2]

Until then, I hope you get to listen to some good music. I have been remiss in listening to the new Ariana Grande album despite My Daughter Cassandra’s insistent prodding. I’ve got to fix that.

See you next week.

______________________________________

[1] Hey, I do blogs on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise. That’s enough relationships to keep tabs on.

[2] I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE HOW MANY TIMES I PAUSED AND REWOUND THE TAPE SO I COULD ACCURATELY CAPTURE RYAN’S BREATHLESS WORDS!