Lead Us Into Temptation, Pt. 2

Yes, am aware that it’s been a minute since I last wrote about Paradise. I suppose it’s a combination of Bachelor-related overload (I am now screaming every time I hear the word “connection”); confusion (so many people, so many relationships, so many changing story arcs, two different venues); and boredom (the cast members set up for starring roles are dramatic but not particularly compelling (e.g. Lace, G-vieve, Jill). A certain amount of chaos is expected and demanded from Paradise, but I also want to invest in some connections (arrrggggghhhhh!!!), and the chaos this season is hampering my ability to invest. Borrowing a line from Idol, “It’s not working for me, dawg.”

Here’s where I’m at now.

Things seem really, really good for Michael and Danielle, and Brandon and Serene. Which also makes me fear for them because Paradise.

Things seem good for Aaron and G-vieve but this can’t last, because Aaron and G-vieve. And the previews are showing us some kind of completely expected meltdown. Andrew and Jessenia seem good, too, but I fear for them because Paradise.

The Shanae-Logan-Kate triangle is a mess that is about to get messier. Logan dates every girl on the beach and settles on The Devil’s Mistress Kate after deciding he likes her more than Shanae. Logan proceeds to gaslight Shanae by saying it’s her fault that he likes some other girl more.

From the previews, it seems that Logan is gonna experience how bitchy karma can be when Kate turns on him for a new arrival after she pledged fidelity to Logan.

Victoria has put herself in quite a pickle for going after a connection (arrrggggghhhhh!!!) with Adam whose LinkedIn profile checks all her boxes but worries about hurting Johnny whose relative lack of career goals left some boxes empty [cue Heart What About Love]. Victoria, girl, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. You were the one who pursued Adam.

Who didn’t see a breakup coming with Jill and Jacob? The former was not built for Paradise and the latter is too built for it. And speaking of being built for Paradise – hello, Shanae!! Dropped by Logan, the previews have her moving on to Jacob and then onto one of the new arriving boy band-looking twins, while The Devil’s Mistress Kate goes on a date with the other twin (see Logan, above). [cue Lady Gaga Boys Boys Boys]

And speaking of My Girl Brittany – I actually hadn’t been speaking of her but I’m happy to – she was workin’ that black lace. I’m feeling you, Andrew!

Not sure how much I buy My Girl’s connection (arrrggggghhhhh!!!) with Tyler, though.

Finally, Rodney’s world is about to be turned when Justin returns to the beach and appears to get a date with Rodney’s beloved Eliza.

I think I’m all caught up. That’s a wrap.

P.S. This week’s viewing wine was the oddly named Waterdog, a Portuguese blend. A bit too fruit-forward and soft on the finish for me but at $7.99 from Costco, I was fine with it.

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