It’s another week and we’re back for more boredom! It’s clear that the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) know how little they have to work with in Zach and they’re going to hijinks and emotional drama early and often to keep us entertained. Or at least keep us from changing the channel. And with 17 girls entering Monday’s episode, it is hard to know who is who which adds to our viewing burden.
One person who made it easy for us to know was Christina of the family Mandrell. Alas, Zach said goodbye to this personable, cute, and emotionally unintelligent bachelorette. We knew she wouldn’t last – Zach already had legit doubts about his readiness to take on Christina and her daughter – but I was thinking the EGPs would wring another couple of weeks out of her big personality. But her over-expressed assertiveness combined with too little social awareness wouldn’t allow that to happen. I’m hoping she gets a chance for redemption in Paradise. She is a great character and I do believe that she means well. Hopefully, she can learn how to stop self-sabotaging.
Getting an even quicker exit was Bailey who wasn’t feeling her (tenuous at best) connection validated by Zach. What Zach validated was that he wasn’t able to validate their (tenuous at best) connection, and so he bailed on Bailey.
Brianna (America’s Choice) found fifty ‘leven reasons to get in her feelings. Again. But even she got exhausted from her feelings and told Zach she was leaving the mansion. Zach supported her decision by saying, “We can’t force anything that’s not there.”
The shine this week went to Kaity and Aly. While she’s not One of the Four to Look Out For, Kaity bears watching because she was given an intro package in the season’s Premiere. She got a 1-on-1 Monday night and “night” should be taken literally as it was an overnight date. This got the girls feeling a kind of way when she rolled back into the mansion in the morning in her PJs.
Aly also got a 1-on-1. The EGPs delivered a hot, lacy white jumpsuit to her at the mansion, and this got the girls feeling a kind of way. The ‘fit was indicative of her and Zach jumping out of a plane although it’s a mystery why Zach wore a tux for that. While there were no overnight shenanigans, Aly got the obligatory Bachelor franchise trope of the country singer we never heard of. This time, it was Griffen Palmer who just happens to be host Jesse Palmer’s cousin! He won the reality show Songland, a show I enjoyed but I don’t recall him at all.
Finally, it’s always fun to see the suits at ABC (sABCs) find ways to work ESPN’s Hannah Storm into the Bachelor franchise. In this case, it was the Group Date Bachelor Bowl V.
While Hannah did her mock-serious commentary, Christina balled out and led her Blue team – the Ball-Zachs (OK, the double entendre is pretty funny) – to victory and the after-party with Zach. That’s when Christina self-destructed by getting in her and everybody’s feelings about not feeling Charity getting the Group Date Rose (GDR).
And that’s a wrap. See you next week.
P.S. For this week’s episode, I finished off an open bottle of this. Taking a sip every time Zach said the phrase “best friend” helped move the process along.
 Katherine, Jess, Greer, Charity
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