All Hail the New Bachelorette

Cue Rihanna Only Girl in the World while we celebrate Charity being named the next Bachelorette!

In my notes after Monday night’s Rose Ceremony, I wrote, “Charity – odd one out. START THE BACHELORETTE CAMPAIGN NOW!!!

With the clarity of perfect hindsight or my fitting events into a pre-constructed narrative, I saw this coming. Remember that the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) have already seen the end when we are just beginning. What they show, don’t show and how they portray people and events are the results of intentional choices they make when editing their rolls of tape for our entertainment. Their goal is to make the show feel predictably familiar with villains, drama, and heart-warming stories – and unpredictable with calculated misdirection.

I have previously noted the importance of two Premiere Indicators that signal who is likely to play a major role in the season. Charity was the only girl to get both: an Intro Package and First Five Out of the Limo. The result was making the Final Four and a Hometown Visit where she got far and away the best edit of the four visits. We were shown an outgoing, accepting, supportive family, a hot brother[1], and a devoted circle of friends. How could Zach send her home after that, especially after the lambastation[2] he got from Ariel’s family?

And that was the misdirection. After a season where she was introduced as one of the leading ladies; shown as a sympathetic victim when a leading lady turned villain (Kat); had a fabulous Hometown; and constantly was presented in a positive light, hers was the most surprising exit of the season to this point. And the EGPs created her story arc knowing that she had finished fourth in a four-girl rodeo[3] while prepping her and us to be the next Bachelorette.

But the EGPs weren’t finished, yet. That surprise exit got Charity some time in the Hot Seat on the Women Tell All. My ever-present Crack Research Staff (CRS) at @Bachelordata Instagram found that in the previous five seasons of The Bachelor, three future Bachelorettes got Hot Seat time in the Tell All: Rachel, Hannah B., and Katie. We can now add Charity to that list.

And speaking of the Tell All Hot Seat, my CRS has discovered that it is very predictive of who will get invited to Paradise. In the previous five seasons, 28 girls have occupied the Hot Seat. Taking out the three who became The Bachelorette, 21 of the remaining 25 Hot Seaters went to Paradise. Should this trend continue, then it’s likely that we will see introverted Jess, the rehabilitated Greer, and the rehabilitated Kat be part of the summer mayhem. I’d also like to see rodeo girl Brooklyn, and Christina of the Family Mandrell bring their bold personalities to the bedlam.

As to Zach, here’s how I would characterize his remaining choices:

  • Gabi: the fun and funny girlfriend.
  • Ariel: the intriguing and mysterious girlfriend.
  • Kaity: the hot physical chemistry girlfriend.

We will find out who he chooses in two weeks. In the meantime, Fantasy Suite drama and meltdowns will ensue.

See you next week.

P.S. This week’s viewing wine was this very enjoyable Syrah/Grenache blend I sampled at Wegmans.

[1] Bachelor Nation was furiously tweeting their support for him as the next Bachelor LOL.

[2] Yeah, it’s not a word. But it sounds harsher than the real word which is the point.

[3] Shout-out to rodeo girl Brooklyn.

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