Jamie’s Lyin’

Junior Evil Genius Producer (Junior EGP): "Lotsa tropes in the Premiere. How many do we want to go with in Episode 2?" Senior Evil Genius Producer (Senior EGP): "Yes." (POSSIBLE) VILLAIN EMERGENCE!!! HEIGHTS DATES!!! PERSONAL CONCERT DATES BY ARTISTS THE LEADS PRETEND TO KNOW!!![1] DRAMA IN THE HOUSE!!! CANCELLED COCKTAIL PARTIES!!! WAS THERE A RELATIONSHIP... Continue Reading →

How Not to Bachlorette

Junior Evil Genius Producer (JEGP): “Which tropes do you want to use for the premiere?” Senior Evil Genius Producer (SEGP): “Yes.” They’re probably so happy to be making a more COVID-free show that they just trotted out the big guns right off the bat. The Mama Trope – the show started with Michelle’s mom. But... Continue Reading →

Previewing the Premiere

While technically, this is the first blog entry of Michelle’s season of The Bachelorette, it’s really a placeholder until I can write a more proper blog. By “proper,” I mean the inclusion of an appropriate level of snark. Due to a variety of professional obligations, I will be late in fulfilling my non-professional obligations. But... Continue Reading →

Everybody Needs Therapy. Or More Wine.

Me, angrily at 8:45 Eastern Standard Time: “I refuse to let myself believe she ends up with Blake!” And then My Daughter Diandra (MDD) chides me for not having had enough wine at that point to prepare myself for this sudden, horrifying realization. Here is how this season ended. Blake picks out an engagement ring... Continue Reading →

Most Dramatic Show Ever? (yes)

Finally. After all of Chris Harrison’s breathless pronouncements of “THE most dramatic episode/moment/season in Bachelor history,” tonight it actually happened. We were warned several hours before. Basically, Katie’s conundrum, which has Bachelor Nation in an uproar and taking sides, is this. The Two Guys That Katie Actually Likes We were given plenty of foreshadowing when... Continue Reading →

The Men Tell Not Much

They really could have told us all in an hour, right? I stand by my narrative for this season. Katie knew who she liked early on, which left the Evil Genius Producers (EGPs) with the difficult task – made even harder without travel – of creating entertaining content in the face of few romantic sparks.... Continue Reading →

Oedipally Cuddling

Only seven suitors left. Only four get hometown visits. Only two of them are Guys Katie Actually Likes, although she thinks she likes a third. That being said – Katie’s pet phrase is the new drinking game, so take a sip – the guys are well aware of this and talk a lot about how... Continue Reading →

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