A Wedding in Paradise (but can I get my mayhem back?

Thank you, Chris Harrison. Once again, you reminded us that in Paradise all things are possible. I’ve seen basketball games last longer than the time it took for Carly to get a ring out of Evan last season and, yet, there we were with a High Def seat at their wedding. For the record, I’ve always been Team Carly.

Uh, wait. Chris presided over the wedding, too?

From there, he switched roles over to Chris the Camp Counselor to get everybody to talk through their feelings about the whole Corinne/Double Dealin’ D situation that interrupted the show’s production. The tedious talk ended with Chris asking a group of people who left their regular lives to come to Mexico, went back home against their will, and left their regular lives AGAIN to come back to Mexico AGAIN, to give their individual verbal consent that they wanted to be in Mexico. To find love and marriage, of course, like Carly and Evan.

Yeah, that seemed a tad superfluous and unnecessarily dramatic but after all, it’s a Bachelor franchise show. And the consents sounded like the airline attendant getting the people sitting in the exit rows to give their verbal assent that they’re willing and able to help in the case of an emergency. But the whole talk thing put My Girl Raven in the spotlight once again and seemed to confirm her current status as Queen of Paradise. Are they auditioning her for a possible role as the next Bachelorette?

But after all that it’s-getting-way-too-serious-up-in-here stuff, we got our show back. Welcome to Junior High in Paradise! Alex really likes Amanda but she is finding him annoying now. Jasmine likes Matt but he wants to keep his options open. Kristin really likes Dean but he’s OK if she wants to like somebody else. Really, Dean? Ben and Robby like My Girl Raven – as well they should – but she wants a break from BOTH of them. But who’s that she’s kissing in the pool in the previews? Jack likes Danielle – as well he should – but she realizes she’s just trying to make herself like him. Lacey just wants somebody to love. Somehow nobody likes Diggy yet despite him keeping up his strong eyewear game at the beach. Nobody likes Iggy yet, either, and I’m OK with that. Derek and “new happy” Taylor are “the couple” but we can’t really expect that to last, right? This is Paradise, after all.

Of course, the arrival of Daniel – who Lacey is somehow pining for – and The Twins and whoever else will show up will send Cupid’s arrows in myriad new directions. There’ll more nights of relationship mayhem. Maybe we’ll get some answers to all those mysterious preview clips. Wells will pour the drinks and provide the solace. And I’ll attempt to add witty, wine-fueled snark.

Until next week . . .

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