A Wilted Final Rose

“It was so amazing with you right from the start that I couldn’t see myself with anybody else. That’s why I decided to marry somebody else.”

Yes, Becca the strong, independent-minded woman – self-described and validated by her family – was faced with a choice: one guy who promised to be her caretaker; or the other guy who would challenge her as an equal. So, the strong, independent-minded woman chose to be taken care of by a father figure rather than be challenged by a peer.

Obviously, I could never write a romance novel.

Moreover, we had to wait until the last 15 minutes of the show to address Garrett’s troubled social media past. His pat answers had all the opaque sincerity of well-rehearsed scripting by a P.R. firm which tells me as long as the show knew they needed to have him talk, they also wanted nothing he said left to chance. How he and Becca handled their business is none of my business, so I will have no further judgement or comment on this subject.

Finally, this snoozer of a season is over. Tonight’s final episode felt like my recent dental appointment. It was just to get my teeth cleaned, i.e. it was a regular and expected thing. But no matter how pleasant the hygienist was trying to be, the moment she moved the chair back all I could think of the entire time was, “When will this be over?”

Thankfully, “the fun in the sun . . . the drama . . . the heartbreak . . . the tears . . . will blow you away.” Bachelor in Paradise with all of its attendant mayhem starts tomorrow. [Cue The Pointer Sisters I’m So Excited followed by Kool and the Gang Celebration]