Bachelor in Paradise ain’t nuthin’ but a party and every good party – especially the ridiculicious ones like Paradise – needs a great DJ. Thank you, Chris Harrison. I’ll take it from here. Here’s my playlist for the first two nights.
You’re the One That I Want (John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John). For reasons unclear to any of us, all the girls come to Paradise wanting Blake. For reasons that are very clear to me, all the guys come to Paradise wanting The Impossibly Cute Hannah G. (the “G” stands for “goodgawd” pronounced the way James Brown would say it).
How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You, When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life (Fred Astaire and Jane Powell). This will probably be Blake’s theme song for as long as he stays at Paradise and undoubtedly long after that.
I’ve Got You Under My Skin (Frank Sinatra). The Impossibly Cute Hannah G. tried Dylan who’s head over heels hot for her. Then she tried Wills in the way that you be polite by trying something that somebody took the time to make just for you but it tastes as bad as you thought it would but you try to be nice about it, anyway. And much to all of our frustration (especially mine!), now she’s trying Blake because she Can’t Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon).
Bye Bye Bye (NSYNC). Memo from Kristina to Blake – “Don’t want to be a fool for you / Just another player in your game for two.”
Going Out of My Head (Little Anthony and the Imperials). Clearly this is for the smitten Dylan, who’s “all-in” for the The Impossibly Cute Hannah G., according to our fabulous bartender Wells.
Firework (Katy Perry). Clay and Nicole are the first official couple of Paradise and got to celebrate with the ubiquitous fireworks display. And I’m already waiting to see what song I’ll pick for the break-up we all know is coming.
Baby I’m A Star (Prince). My Girl Demi.
Crazy Train (Ozzy Osborne), Dazed and Confused (Led Zeppelin). Annaliese:
- “I didn’t know how emotional I was.”
- “I didn’t think it would be that dramatic a conversation.”
- My Girl Demi on Annaliese: “There might not be a worse judge of a man than Annaliese.”
- My Girl Demi, again, on Annaliese: “Mama’s off her meds.”
Somebody Get Me a Doctor (Van Halen). Poor John Paul Jones hurling up a too spicy taco from Jane on the beach. Or was he really?
Where Is the Love (Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway). Pretty much all the girls desperately fighting for a rose at next week’s first Rose Ceremony (four hours with no rose ceremony. Seriously, Chris?). I mean when Caelynn is giving Cam some run . . . desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.
When Will I Be Loved (Linda Ronstadt). Poor Bibiana. She’s so nice.
Anticipation (Carly Simon). We await next week’s relationship twists and turns, as well as new arrivals.
 From the movie Royal Wedding.
 I’m going with the version from his amazing 1956 album Songs for Swinging Lovers.