Will She Stay or Will She Go?

Whoa! When Dean made his self-reflective drive to the Grand Canyon, he must have had Major Harris Love Won’t Let Me Wait on auto-repeat. He comes back moustache-less and asks Caelynn to leave Paradise with him STAT. And that’s where we ended – hanging on a cliff awaiting Caelynn’s decision.

Love Is All Around The Troggs – Chris wants he and Katie to “take things to the next level.” My Queen Demi and Kristian are humming along[1]. And JPJ and Tayshia seemed to have patched things up (Why, Tayshia? Why?). Naturally, we expect these things to be temporary because Paradise.

Crybaby Melanie Martinez and Cry Baby Janis Joplin – Clay’s constant whining about his ex Angela coming to Paradise.

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This Kiss Faith Hill – Matt. Dude.

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And after all that (hilarious production by producers, by the way), he maddeningly blows off Sydney for newcomer Brie. Because Paradise.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Taylor Swift – Clay and Angela finally have their talk which was really confusing since Clay was the one who initially broke it off but it sounded like Angela was the one breaking it off with him now since he couldn’t move on to Nicole with her being in Paradise.

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Starting All Over Again Mel and Tim – Blake and Kristina decide to end their weird flirtation and give a relationship a real go . . .

Ninety Nine and a Half (Won’t Do) Wilson Pickett – . . . but Kristina still has that leeeeetle bit of doubt that Blake has the capacity to be all-in. And none of us blame her. Especially since Stagecoach 2020 is only eight months away.

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Where Is the Love Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway – Poor Mike. And he didn’t get a good potential Bachelor edit, either.

Is She Really Going Out With Him Joe Jackson – I’m sorry not sorry. I cannot wrap my head around Hannah G. and Dylan. This just cannot be a thing.

Two episodes left. Much drama is sure to ensue. Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of Paradise.

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[1] But why are they still here??? But if they left, we’d lose My Queen. I’m so conflicted!

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