The Tyrant Goes Off the Track

Lemme get this straight. Peter straight breaks up with Victoria P. – whose only fault is she failed to put respeck on white wine (an issue but not necessarily a deal breaker) – because he couldn’t see her as his wife. By default this means the list of people he sees as potentially his wife include:

  • Krazy Kelsey
  • Tammy the Two-Faced Tyrant (TTT)
  • Lyin’ Sydney
  • Cryin’ Mykenna
  • and Too Problematic for Cosmopolitan Victoria F.

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Next, we need to talk about taking Hannah Ann out for a dinner date that was more like a job interview. All he needed was a form from HR to write her answers to, “So what are your goals?”, “Where do you see our relationship in five years?”, and “Can you give me some examples of accomplishments in your last relationship?”

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Or other fine products.

Of course, Pushover Peter gave her a rose despite getting no assurance that she’s ready.

Too Problematic for Cosmopolitan Victoria F. gets a redo of her 1-on-1 after the whole “OMG country singer Chase Rice is my ex” fiasco. I’m glad that the date involved relating to horses which is a great metaphor. I mean, who among us hasn’t been accused by a significant other that we’re acting like a particular part of a horse’s anatomy?[1]

giphy (33)The date concluded with an awkward dinner where Victoria F. put her emotional walls so far up that she didn’t know what was behind them. Speeding right through the red flags, Peter told her how he feels so strongly for her and that NOBODY has given him so much glee – yes, he said “glee”. And of course, Pushover Peter gives her a rose.

The infighting between the women has been a real issue this season. Beefs among the casts according to the clichéd gender norms by which guys and girls do this sort of thing are a long-standing trope for The Bachelor franchise. But whether encouraged or tolerated by the producers, what’s happening this season – especially with TTT – has crossed the line past entertaining to something quite inappropriate and ugly to watch. Hopefully this ends now that TTT has been sent home (Pushover Peter finally grew a spine!). Nobody needs to watch this level of venomous bile.

Another really annoying issue is Peter’s need to mansplain how the girls should feel. And walk them out when they don’t want to be walked out. And trying to make them talk when they don’t want to talk. And hug them when they don’t want to be hugged. I’m not going to psychoanalyze him beyond saying this sort of thing is toxic.

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We actually got a cocktail party during which we learned from Pushover Peter that everything was great with he and Victoria F. now that she dropped her walls. Here’s a Bachelor fan trying to find where that happened.

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In the end, Pushover Peter shocked me by choosing Natasha over Lyin’ Sydney (with whom he had so much chemistry) and Cryin’ Mykenna. I thought Mykenna had a legit complaint about being saved during the 2-on-1 with TTT only to be sent home herself later in the evening #Blindsided. In any case, I can only hope that Mykenna and TTT crossed paths at the airport.

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After all that drama, it seems that Cryin’ Mykenna is rebranding herself as Tough, Strong, and Powerful Mykenna.

[cue Helen Reddy I Am Woman]

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It’s not going so well.

And what are the odds that Mykenna starts up a fling in Paradise only to have TTT show up and use her date card on Mykenna’s guy? The mind reels . . .

Six girls left:

  • Two are they really ready girls: the 23 year-olds Madison and Hannah Ann.
  • Two are they crazy girls: Kelsey and Victoria F.
  • Two are “the other girls aren’t at my level” girls: Kelly and Natasha.

Is Peter’s person in this group? How many more red flags will Pushover Peter ignore? Is there a future Bachelorette in this group? More importantly, are we finished with five hour weeks?

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[1] I was dying to work that in.

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