Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale

As if this week’s episode didn’t have enough Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale, the magic of the interwebs provided a wonderful precursor to the proceedings. Some sleuthy person twittered that Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale models for Party City! I don’t know about you but I’m going to have a real struggle getting that image of Taco, Taco Man out of my head. I didn’t bother to fact-check this as I really work hard at not inadvertently coming across any news about the season in advance of seeing it unfold myself. Plus, I don’t want to see any more of these pictures. It was funny (intentional?) that a Party City ad ran during the show on my local cable.

This episode and really the entire season so far has been dominated by two things: Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale; and the disordering disruption of Clare the Chaos Queen (CCQ). As to the latter, cocktail parties, group dates and group date roses are dismissed per CCQ’s chaotic capriciousness mostly because she’s totally going through the motions. Each dismissal of tradition should be translated as, “Can we just forget all this tedious stuff so I can go to my suite and canoodle with Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale?”

It all feels like one of my favorite Katy B.[1] songs So Far Away:

You, you give me such a good feeling
You, you give me just what I’m needing
I, I get this crazy sensation
When, it’s just you and I, it’s just you

We’re so far away from
Everything and everyone, baby
We’re so far away from
All the stresses of the world now

All of this said, there were a few moments worth commenting on. The first was a seething Yosef confronting CCQ on his perceived inappropriateness of the nudie dodgeball. I’m sure everybody agrees with long-time Bachelorette observer Emma Gray.

Missed in his misogyny was a very good and unrecognized point that CCQ is there for the guys, too.[2] That said, a crucial conversation is one thing. Verbal abuse is another. Later, dude. Hopefully you don’t talk to your precious daughter that way.

Yosef’s catastrophic debacle provided an opportunity for Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale to put on his Party City Superman outfit and swoop in to assuage her feelings.

CCQ: “Are you appeasing me?”

Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale: “No, I’m here to please you.”

That moment surely inspired his “five-minute check-in” at the cocktail party.

Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale naturally gets the group date rose much to the displeasure of the guys who, in fairness are not being treated fairly by CCQ. That became apparent when she was so not there for her spa date with Zach who ended up being dispatched after Missed-kissgate. It seemed to me that she legit questioned her attempt to go in for one midstream knowing that she really wasn’t feeling it. Zach’s continued attempts – plural; bro, get a clue! – to get her to try again just made matters worse and CCQ left him alone at dinner to get the bad news from Chris Harrison that she was sending him home.

Again, this can only be translated one way: CCQ’s complete, utter, total, head-over-her-spiked-heels infatuation with Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale. And despite the chaos that is clearly coming with this, I’m here for it. Because of the last man/woman standing competitive script of these shows, we have never really seen a season that isn’t going to follow that script. Instead of a journey, we’re getting a 100-yard dash. While frustrating at times (hashtag CCQ), I’m finding it entertaining.

Even The Guys Roast Each Other group date turned out to be all about Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale. It’s funny to me that many of the guys – especially Mr. Wall Street[3] – are oblivious to the fact of how infatuated CCQ is with Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale and in typical fashion, believed their jokes at his expense were a way of outing his true colors or whatever. Instead, all CCQ saw was them exposing their jealousy.

So now our attention turns to Tuesday night’s election and a new episode planned for Thursday night. It appears that we’ll get some clarity around the rumors and Chris Harrison’s ominous declarations – “You’ve just blown up The Bachelorette” and “We’ve never dealt with anything like this in the history of our show” – surrounding the season from the start, including the return of Tayshia.

Vote.

See you next week?

P.S. Tonight’s viewing wines: Paracelica Grande Red Blend, 2018 and San Gregorio Single Vineyards Las Martas Garnacha, 2018. High quality at very affordable prices.

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[1] I most recently wrote about Katy B. here: https://raysmusings.com/2020/05/04/30-day-song-challenge-day-8-an-underrated-song/#more-12209

[2] And alternatively, on The Bachelor the male lead is there for the girls, too. Everybody has made sacrifices and taken certain personal and career risks to be on the show and the leads need to respect and be attentive to that.

[3] I wanna be snarky about this guy but just as too many of his roast jokes aimed at Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale . . . Dale went too far, I fear my snark at him will take a twisted and dark turn. Something about privilege . . . no Ray . . . don’t do this . . .