Oh Mari Won’t You Weep?

“So much and yet so little.” My Daughter Diandra (MDD) aptly summarizing this evening’s Paradise wackiness.

If there were a theme for tonight, it would be another MDD observation, “We need a search and rescue mission for these relationships.” In that regard, we can start with Mari, who lit her relationship with Kenny on fire by saying she really thinks they are a thing, but to be 100% sure, she’d take a date with somebody else. We good?

Kenny:

Mari went deeper into her bag of errors by confiding in Demi – Demi! – about how shocked she was that her convo with Kenny went so badly.

Demi looking at Kenny [cue Marvin Gaye Let’s Get It On]:

Mari after watching Demi and Kenny get it on after telling Kenny she’d be open to dating other people:

Of Trichotomies (noun a division into three categories)

The Smoke Bros (Chasen and some guy named Chris that literally nobody knows) show up looking for Smoke Shows[1]. They have a double-date card to stir things up with.

Trichotomy #1: Chris + Jessenia + Ivan. Apparently, it is not true that “literally nobody knows” Chris. I know we were all taken by surprise that Jessenia was hoping to meet Chris, Chris, Chris in Paradise while we were all like, who’s Chris again?

Who dis Chris?

As always, everything is on the interwebs, including pre-Paradise evidence that Jessenia and Chris have some kind of history. And much to the dismay of Chris, some kind of chemistry that has her feeling sparks.

Trichotomy #2: Chasen + Deeandra + Kung Fu Karl. Let’s be honest, drama seems to follow Karl. He was only brought here to be a foil for somebody.

But that double-date? Am I really gonna let somebody I just met 10 minutes ago blow all over me during COVID?

Trichotomy #3: Everybody’s Doubting Thomas (EDT) + Tammy + Aaron. Where did this come from? Last week EDT was part of a trichotomy with Grocery Store Joe (GSJ) and Serena. How did Tammy get so involved with him so fast? And right in Aaron’s face? While knowing EDT is Aaron’s mortal enemy? So many questions.

Other Highlights

Maurissa explaining to Connor her late date with Riley: “It went OK. We just talked all night.”

Also Maurissa:

See you tomorrow (but see below).

P.S. Tonight’s viewing wine: Uro Toro La Enfermera Tempranillo, 2018. Smoky, earthy, dark fruity, oaky, and vanilla-y.

P.P.S. Once again, I will likely be a day late with my highlights from Tuesday night’s episode, which looks as dark and juicy as my wine. Rose-giving drama (and surprises?) and then some new female arrivals, including Kendall, who we all knew was coming to mess up GSJ and Serena. Because Paradise.


[1] This was how Chasen referred to Tayshia and we’re both sorry that I reminded you of that.

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