Jamie’s Lyin’

Junior Evil Genius Producer (Junior EGP): “Lotsa tropes in the Premiere. How many do we want to go with in Episode 2?”

Senior Evil Genius Producer (Senior EGP): “Yes.”

(POSSIBLE) VILLAIN EMERGENCE!!! HEIGHTS DATES!!! PERSONAL CONCERT DATES BY ARTISTS THE LEADS PRETEND TO KNOW!!![1] DRAMA IN THE HOUSE!!! CANCELLED COCKTAIL PARTIES!!! WAS THERE A RELATIONSHIP PRIOR TO THE SHOW!!! And in a new twist on “right reasons,” we had IS MICHELLE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS?

All in one episode. What is happening?

Once again, professional obligations call. So, while I am timely this week, I will be brief (I think it remains to be seen, and there’s plenty of wine left in the bottle, which will be problematic given said professional obligations).

This episode was the Jamie Episode. First, many on the interwebs were reading him for filth when he told the guys he’s evaluating Michelle to see if she’s right for him. In a show that My Daughter Diandra (MDD) says “exploits unhealthy relationship dynamics,” his approach seems very rational to me and very un-Bachelor franchise-like, where all 50-leven suitors come believing that the lead they have never met is their person. That said, I understand those that wondered why he would come looking for a relationship when he is a self-described wanderer (cue Dion The Wanderer “I’m the type of guy that likes to roam around, I’m never in one place, I roam from town to town.”)

But then, on his 1-on-1, he becomes a sympathetic and tragic figure with his sad family history. I’m not saying it’s a disqualifier but was anybody else feeling a red flag alert? While a wandering lifestyle is one form of self-care, I would have liked hearing about therapy.

And then he goes and lies about who was talking about Michelle’s prior relationship with Baller Joe[2] – a relationship that she explains to the guys was non-existent[3].

And he goes silent when the guys question who talked to Michelle!

And then he has the gall to agree with the guys who are upset that someone talked to Michelle!! HE WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED TO MICHELLE!!!!

So we’re reading him for filth again??

Miscellaneous Observations

I loved the 5th-grade school date. I was actually answering the math questions, LOL. I loved when Romeo answered the question of “how many times is it acceptable to call [Michelle] beautiful in a day” with a calculation of once per second for a whole day. MDD looked at me and said, “That’s so you.”

But hol’up. The answer is 86,400[4]. He’s a Harvard math major????

I loved the basketball date. I may or may not have been doing running commentary and analysis that was better than that local sportscaster bozo.

Gotta wrap this up. See you next week.

P.S. This week’s viewing wine is Quinta Das Carvalhas Douro.

P.P.S. As always, dear friend and loyal follower of these Musings KMD texted me about yet another canceled cocktail party (CCP). These CCP texts are part of my Bachelor franchise fun.

P.P.P.S This wasn’t so brief, after all. Whatever. Sleep is overrated, anyway.

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[1] WHO IS CAROLINE JONES????

[2] Who went into Kobe Black Mamba Mode during the basketball group date game.

[3] Although I don’t buy her saying that every guy came in on equal footing. She clearly was hurt by Joe ghosting her, so she clearly had some feels for him before the show and that seemed obvious when they re-connected on the first night.

[4] Sixty seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. 60 x 60 x 24 = 86, 400.